help me out here ladies, i have a almost 20 year old daughter (she will be 20 next wednesday) who out of the blue asked me if she can live with her 17 year old bf and his parents. mind you he is a junior in high school and she is in her first year of college. she is studying animation and hopes to move to california for further studies or job. i've always encouraged her to find her dream, i wanted more for my kids. I was married at 18 and pregnant and had another kid at 20 and never did anything really with my life. except of course work and be a mom. we've struggled, who doesn't, but like i told her i didn't want that for her. so as she is asking me this, i told her are you serious and she is like yeah, i ask what do the his parents say, oh they are okay with it. I"m like they are okay with it, how can that be. Who in their right mind would let their son or daughters bf or gf live with them. Its not like i'm kicking her out or she is being abused by me. i told her i would love for her to move out believe me, but she should live on her own, see how it is to be independent. I told her you don't even have a job, she is like well dad is getting me these jobs and i'm like well don't you think if your dad found out you wanted to live with your boyfriend he would strip that from you.
i also told her well if you move out i will not pay your tuition, i can give you the bill and either you can pay for it somehow or have your bf's parents pay for it, since they are so willing to let you live there, without having a job. same thing with her cell phone, i pay that, told her that will be gone. i told her its not like i don't want you out of my house, believe me i do, but i dont' want you living with your 17 year old high school who doesn't even have a job or a car and lives with his parents. i was so pissed, angry i couldn't look at her and didn't speak the whole ride home. we ride together from downtown to home on certain days. i didn't even eat dinner that's how upset i was.
ladies do you think i'm crazy, or would you be pissed that the boyfriends parents are agreeing to this. i know she 20 can't do anything about it, but i know if she goes and lives with them, her whole future will be put to the side for this kid. i wouldn't doubt it if she became pregnant and that was something i dread all the time. its like they want to make sure their son is happy and do all kinds of stuff for him. also i wanted to mention she didn't even go to prom last year because this idiot of a boyfriend got caught with a joint i the bathroom by a teacher. and since he got suspended he wasn't allowed to accompany her to her prom. so she didn't go. i had to return her dress, shoes and other stuff. i was livid when this happened. and she didn't want to go by herself either.
Answer by Mahaptra at 7:58 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:43 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
I would have told her you are 20 years old a grown adult. You can do it if you want. But I will stop paying all your bills (like you said in your post). Sometimes you have to let your kids make their own choices and suffer the consequences later.
Answer by louise2 at 2:49 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by loudnproud87 at 2:57 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by Dalimonster at 2:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by yesmaam at 2:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by yesmaam at 2:47 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by loudnproud87 at 3:02 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
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