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2 Bumps

When do you have sex, if you are cosleeping with a baby ? adult content

My boyfriend is getting really jealous of the baby ( although he says no), but he always tells me " its all about the baby ! You have nothing left to give me, It is never US anymore..."
and I understand, but, yeah its seem like I want to give all my energie to my 6 months old, who needs it. We are cosleeping and my BF start sleeping on the couch more and more, and, sorry to say it, I enjoy it, because I have more space in the bed and sleep better ( Its hard to sleep squished between 2 mans who move a lot during the night lol !).
When the baby falls asleep, I am so exhausted I do too, and in the morning, the babay wakes up and need already all my attention. I try to give cuddles but I am rarely in the mood for sex. He is getting really upset, and I can already imagining him cheating on me in a few years, because he is not satisfied....

any suggestions ? Am i the only one in that case ? help

Answer Question
 
kokomaman

Asked by kokomaman at 3:41 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,413 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Yes a lot of men and women if not getting it at home wll get it somewhere.......as for co-sleeping our DD has slept in our bed, she's 3 mo, but its not a regular thing b/c we do like to be together.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:43 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Maybe it is time to consider sleep training your son to go to bed in his crib... If it is not a joint choice to co-sleep then it isn't a healthy situation. Best of luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • You can have sex when baby is napping or have sex in the living room while baby is asleep. Go to the bedroom when baby is up playing.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • We only co-slept for a couple of months before starting to wean DD into her bed. I am not against co-sleeping in general but if it is interfering with your relationship... maybe you need to talk to each other about how you are feeling. Why you want to co-sleep and try to come up with a compromise or goal as to when you want to start weaning to his own bed. I agree you can have sex while the baby is napping though. It's just allowing yourself to enjoy the time and not just use it to clean the house like I would!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 3:52 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Sadly, many men get very jealous of the time the baby takes away from the them. We had sex on the couch while DS was asleep, and when we moved into a house with a guest room, that made things MUCH easier! If DS was napping in the swing, we'd duck back to the bedroom. The shower is another option!
    Being a mom is definitely exhausting, and it's hard to find the energy to put out sometimes. However, our relationships need nurturing too, and it's too easy to let that fall by the wayside while we focus on kiddos.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 3:53 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think this is more a case of where there is a will there is a way. Frankly, if you are quiet about it and the baby is sleeping you could do it almost anywhere in the house and be fine. I mean, not in the bed with a sleeping baby obviously, but pretty much anywhere else. It's probably more a matter of finding the energy and motivation. I know it's hard when you're so tired, you already feel all of your energy is going to the baby, and the last thing you want to do is get romantic. BUT, you need to keep your relationship healthy, too, and your DH needs to feel loved and appreciated. As mothers we get so much affection all day from cuddling and snuggling with our babies, but how much physical affection is your DH getting? If I waited to get romantic until I was feeling refreshed and energized I never would have gotten back in the saddle, sometimes you just have to dive in and hope to get into it once you start. Good luck!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I never coslept with my children. They did sleep in a crib in our room but never in our bed. I have seen to many in situations like yours divorce. Babies do take a lot out of us but I would cut out something else in my day other than sex with my husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Who has sex with a young baby in the house? It ain't the co-sleeping, dear... you're quite normal to be uninterested!

    Seriously, take whatever time you DO have. Real Men can manage without, or they STEP UP and take over some of the duties so mom can get some rest and BE interested.Those who don't help aren't Real Men... and you don't need them in your life.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:59 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • You either go in another room or you put the baby to sleep in a bassinet in a different room. they get up frequently enough that they aren't going to be disturbed by you bringing them back to bed when you are done.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 5:06 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I agree, it's not about the co-sleeping. It's about an energy sucking baby. And it's about being mature enough to put your own needs aside for a while. He, is obviously not there in the maturity level.

    Does he help you with the baby? because if he did as much as you do, he'd understand why you are so tired. Let him take care of the baby for two days straight, and he MIGHT understand how you feel.

    He needs to man up and delay his needs.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 6:34 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

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