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I have a6 month old, whom is very happy with her mom and dad. Daddys side of the family its quite big and they get together often. Whenever we get together with them she becomes very whiny. She is only ok when she is in mom or dads arms. The family wants to hold her but she will not allow it. Then I can tell they look at us like all we do is spoil her by holding her, but we really don't. It is really frustrating sometimes, does anyone have any suggestions?

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a.n.d.

Asked by a.n.d. at 5:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Just explain to them that large crowds make her nervous my daughter has always been kinda anxious in large groups of people and stays close to me still, it has nothing to do with her being spoiled and I'd say so
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 5:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think babies know the smell and the touch of those with whom they spend a lot of time. By the same token, they respond negatively to those whom they don't recognize. I would put the child down somewhere and tell them just to talk to the baby and let her get used to them. Then they might try to pick her up. Also, walking around with her a short distance away from the parents might work. Movement seems to always be better than just sitting someplace.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I agree! My daughter was like that always. I always just told them sorry but she is not comfortable with anyone other than me. Which sounds kinda mean but was the truth.

    SweetOrangeMama

    Answer by SweetOrangeMama at 5:54 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I feel ya. My ds was like that until he was about 3. Everyone said I was spoiling him, I was indulgent....it was horrible and I felt so resentful b/c they didn't even try to understand that he would literally puke from crying so hard when I wasn't holding him.


    Well he's almost 12 now and perfectly normal. In fact, I can't even get him to hug me now. I have to beg, and then his hugs are like hitting guardrail at 35 mph.

    This is my advice: screw them. You are her Momma. You know her, what she needs and who she is. You do what is right for her. If they don't like it, you just have to let them not like it. Your dd will come around, and so will they.
    Saya

    Answer by Saya at 5:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • It won't be long before she warms up to strangers and wins them over. Relax and do what you know is right.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:35 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • It is probably just the larger number of people.. my kids are older and still are a little timid around my dh's family.
    VBM7287

    Answer by VBM7287 at 7:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Dh's family is the same way. I am just a giant bitch because when one of them is holding her she is crying and reaching for me I take her. How dare I make my baby feel secure and comfortable!! lol The bottom line is that she is your baby, and every baby is different. It doesn't matter if you hold her for 23 hours a day, or 2, it's none of their business. Just stand your ground and do what you need to do make your baby comfortable. They will get over it.
    jedwards2009

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 9:18 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Just let the family know that baby is over stimulated and needs to be calmed in certain environments. They'll understand. If not, just to prove a point, leave baby with the family while you and dad step outside for 5-10 minutes. Let them experience your baby's reaction so they can understand.
    Tylersm0m

    Answer by Tylersm0m at 10:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Ignore their rude comments. My baby is the same way - she's 9 months old and still takes her time warming up to people. Once she gets to know them she's fine, but that's takes a while. She used to fuss whenever my MIL wanted to hold her, and that made me feel a little bad because I love my MIL and she does so much for our family - so we went to the beach with my inlaws for a weekend. By Sunday she was actually reaching towards her.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:04 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

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