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I need help avoiding unecessary stress?

Do you just do all the housework or errands yourself without asking for help to avoid unecessary stress or disappointment that husb or who ever forgets? I feel like maybe I can save myself disappoitment with my husb if I just do all that needs to be done without asking cause I know if its not a priority to him it won't be done ASAP like I would do it, and the same with my older sons bedroom I'll pick up some of the obvious stuff he left behind after he "cleaned" his room just to avoid repeating myself. SHould I do this or keep hoping they will realize these things NEED to be done?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Dec. 1, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Dont do it anymore. It will drive you nuts but maybe if they saw how things got without your help they would appreciate the work you do more. Read "a day in the life of a mom" journal on my page. I think it will make you feel better!
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 7:37 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • It sounds like your already stressed over it. So why not ask them to help out more. If they help GREAT! If they don't then you already expected that. lol

    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 7:38 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • thats how i am.. i will ask him to do something and then go.. never mind.. bc he doesnt do it right.. but its major .. im picky about how things are done.id rather do it all on my own because he either WONT do it.. or will half ass it, or not do it right...

    it does get pretty irritating, stressful and annoying.... i tried stopping for a while doing these things and nothing changed. i guess if i want it done ill have to do it.
    KelsoBabeyy

    Answer by KelsoBabeyy at 7:41 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I do ask for their help Southern, husb somehow forgets the garbage is full or repairs need to be done in the home and with the cars and older son somehow doesnt see jackets and dirty clothes on the floor in his room..um don't you think that's odd?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • LOL Oh, yes. They see it alright it's just not on their priority list.

    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 7:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I would have to say, in all honesty, you shouldn't be doing all the house work and errand running. They need to take part in helping you. After all, they're you're family. They're there to support you. That's what families are for. So talk to them. Let them know you need help... It's ok to ask...
    Aj_mommy801

    Answer by Aj_mommy801 at 7:46 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • we are only stressing ourselves by asking I find that having a routine and doing it my self it gets done when I want it done and how I want it done so therefore less stress for me as far as th sons room close the door and let it pile ceiling high until he has to cry for help and even then don't go running to help they aren't stupid they are lazy and they do know what to do.
    muda1954

    Answer by muda1954 at 8:18 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I ended up closing my sons' doors and letting them deal with the mess. The could live in a junkyard, - no longer my problem. As far as husband doing tasks. There must be some reason he says he will and then he doesn't. Is he protesting something? Perhaps you could say this and this need doing, which one will you pick to do. This would keep it from being something you asked him to do and instead something he chose. If the problem is simply forgetting, perhaps put a note on the refrigerator. Or have a quiet talk with him about your concerns. Or...just don't do it and see what happens. Right now he has a free ride as far as chores, if he doesn't do it, it gets done anyway. I wonder if your having to do the chore would possibly mean that you wouldn't have time to do something that affected him... such as make dessert, or ...something that would mildly inconvenience him... no time to clean up the newspapers, for example.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:25 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

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