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Why did I let her get under my skin??

I am 23 and I never did any drugs and I rarely drink. I think I had one mixed drink in my whole life and I did not even finish it. I personally think I live a full good life. I have 2 children and a husband and yes got married young(19) We my little cousin who is 18 posted on facebook about her wanting to go to Vegas to get drunk. I tell her maybe she should think about finishing school and get a job first. You know worry about more important things. Especially since she is not old enough for all that. Well my other cousin who is 4 years older than me butts in and starts encouraging her to party and tells me I need to live life and stop being so uptight!! I told her I DO live life and I have a lot of fun just not they're kind of idea of fun (drinking and doing drugs) I told her I enjoy shopping, camping, vacations, and other outings. I don't like clubbing (I have been to a club twice) Also they don't have children I do! UGH! I hate how she supports our little cousins screw ups and it is a lot!  I don't have to do stupid stuff to have fun right? What do you think?


Asked by momavanessa at 9:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,503 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • frustrated:-), Remeber this " I am powerless over anyone but myself". Although we want to save the world, protect and help all of those we love, and make the lives better for those who are not doing the right things, we can only carry the love- not the person. I am sure it frustrates you to hear your cousin promote this kind of behavior, find the pity for them. It is not the answer to fun and a good life. it is just the opposite. Some day karma will knock on her door and she will see that she is in the wrong. In the mean time, just keep living well and when this cousin starts to irritate you, just think good thoughts and don't give her the power to affect your life. Have a great night.


    Answer by LeJane at 9:57 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • sound just like me when I'm talking to my mother. I don't drink...I've never understood why someone needs a drink to loosen up. I don't go out partying or clubbing. My mother tells me that I need to go out, get a few drinks in me, and dance and party the night away. thanks. I'd rather not. It's just not my thing. Does that mean I don't have fun? Certainly not!!! I have a ton of fun with my family and friends without all that crap!

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:58 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think getting a life doesn't involve under age drinking, doing drugs and partying all the time. If your younger cousin doesn't mind you giving some advice, pay no attention to the older one who sounds extremely immature.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 9:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • My little cousin doesn't mind when I give her advice she knows I care. It is just our other cousin always does the opposite and encourages the drinking and drugs. Tells me to stop saying this and that.


    Comment by momavanessa (original poster) at 9:53 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I think she's young but deserves to have fun at that age minus the drinking although 18 is legal to drink here in Mexico...

    Answer by MexTexmom2 at 10:22 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • It sounds to me like you have grown up & they haven't. Fun can be had w/o partying or drinking. Those kinds of things can get you into a lot of trouble and creat lots of drama. Good for you for offering good advice. Hopefully someday they will mature, too.

    Answer by etexmom at 11:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • This day and age most people don't GROW UP or become MATURE ADULTS until they are well into their 20's.
    I am not saying it's alright for an underage girl to drink. I am just pointing out that it is a "right of passage" these days.
    Although you took the road of sobriety, that is not how everyone else lives their lives.
    You should understand that.....because you are a responsible, mature adult in this rapidly changing, chaotic society.
    You just want the best for her, and she see's that. That is all that matters.

    Answer by kazmia at 1:02 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I was very sheltered as a child so when I finally got some freedom I got a little crazy too. I think that some people have to learn things the hard way. There is nothing wrong with a young single woman going out to a club and having some drinks and cutting loose! Just encourage her to respect herself. Don't put down her life style. By doing this you are closing the door on your relationship. You can't expect everyone to be as mature as you were at 19! Most people aren't! Just tell her you love her, think she's turning into a responsible woman, and that your couch and shoulder are allways open for her.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 10:06 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

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