We are adopting two little girls from the foster care system. They are very young. Because of their ages, their foster parents didn't feel they could handle taking their newborn sister also. So, she was placed in a separate foster home at birth. Just 3 weeks after she was born and placed, we were matched with the two we're adopting. We requested to adopt the newborn also. We firmly believe that siblings need to stay together unless there's a compelling reason why they shouldn't be. In this case, there's no reason why they should be separate. The other foster family also wants to adopt the newborn, separate from her sisters. So, now we compete. In the meantime, we are not able to see the newborn until/unless we're the chosen family. The whole situation is very stressful not just for us but for the other foster family, I'm sure. However, I don't feel bad for them nor do I feel guilty for wanting this baby. They knew going into this that there would be the chance that another family would want the baby to stay with her sisters. I just don't know how they can love and bond with this baby, knowing that it may come to an end. At the same time, I agonize about the fact that each passing day is another day wasted that these sisters won't have a chance to get to love and bond with one another. Selfishly, it's another day that we miss out on bonding with her and witnessing her growth and milestones. She'll probably be near a year old by the time the dust settles on the competing. Even then, there's no guarantees that we'll be her family. If the state chooses the other family then we will have to have sibling visits for the next 17 years. This is 17 years of having to see the other family. I already feel like they view us as baby snatchers and we've never even met yet. There's no doubt that they despise us for even wanting to take the baby from them. At the same time, I just don't understand how anybody with a conscience would want to keep siblings separate, wanting to adopt the cute little newborn but leave the older two behind. Personally, I think it's selfish. It's selfish of them to keep these siblings from truly knowing each other.
I'm just frustrated and needed to vent.
Answer by angelrach86 at 10:32 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 10:39 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by TiffyTaffy79 at 10:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:47 PM on Apr. 14, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by frogdawg at 2:41 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by onethentwins at 4:33 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by frogdawg at 1:10 PM on Apr. 17, 2011
Answer by mamawilbur at 2:02 AM on Apr. 18, 2011
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