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Bored in the relationship!

I am a 40 year old woman and would describe my love life as a soap opera...
I have a hard time getting attached to someone and settling down....And i usually get bored very easily of men after a few month of dating them....

Anyhow, 3 years ago, i met this guy that i feel in love with. And for a while we were always going out and doing things together. But, now i find that i am always bored with him, and want him to spend time with me and do the things we used to do, together. You see, for the past 1 1/2 years, we have broken up and gotten back together, many times over. And every time we do, I end it when it gets to hard or he's not doing anything to spice it up...

Well now, he is starting up a new business and has even less time to do things with me and is always cancelling our plans, together. Funny thing is, I don't even know why i dated him, because he's really not the type of guy i would fall for. I know he still loves me. But, things are just not the same anymore and i don't know how to change it.

I have been single for the past 3 months, in which we broke up, and i did not date during that time. But, i know even if i started dating someone else, i would just go back to my old ways of getting bored with men fast and moving on to my next adrenaline rush...

Why is this?...And, can i ever just stop doing this and just be happy?


Thanks!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Maybe you get bored because like most of us, once you get confortable in a relationship, you forget that you still have to work at it. AND, your partner has to work at it too.

    You have to keep 'catching' that person everyday. It doesn't end when you both agree to be with only one another.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:01 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • hmmmm......well im guessing the reason you fell for him was because he was different and exciting....and that is wore off and you want something else new and exciting...
    MamaSusieQ045

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 11:07 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • I kinda feel wut u sayn bc I was in a relationship with my bd 4 8yrs and I kinda got bord when I realize the things he was doing: The question he ask me is y my sex hve chg. my response was how Im suppose 2 give a 100% when I feel ur tyme is being else where? I mean I got bord bc i felt he wasnt givn his all n da relationship....
    mystery8307

    Answer by mystery8307 at 11:43 PM on Apr. 14, 2011

  • Not to place blame, but you worded your question in a way that sounds like you expect him to spice things up. Could you try to spice things up instead? If he's got a lot on his plate, you might make it easier for him by thinking of fun things to do and take the pressure off of him. It may be that he doesn't want to spend so much time away from you but that he just can't do everything at this point in time. It seems that you realize that there is a pattern to how you get bored. Do you really know what you want in a partner? It would be difficult to find what you're looking for if you don't even know what you want. I recommend seeing a counselor to help you figure it out but if you can't afford one, then try keeping a personal journal (hidden well) to record your daily feelings/thoughts and then once a week/month read back thru it to look for any clues/patterns as to what you like/dislike and what motivates you.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:10 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Why is it his sole responsibility to keep you entertained? You have 2 options here...
    Date the circus or assume some responsibility. I think the later will bring you more happiness. Make an effort honey. Sometimes we are afraid to try, because we might fail. You have to try to succeed or you never will. Give it everything you've got! If it still doesn't work than atleast you can move on.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 9:43 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

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