Hello, I am a mother of 2 girls -12 and 8. I am in a very sad state of mind right now and feel like i have no one I can talk to. I can not tell my husband at this time bc I know his reaction. He is not violent but he can yell and yell and just push us away. Here it goes :
My daugher Kaila is starting to become the typical tween to teen with attitude, ignoring us and only wants to pay attention to her texting. She is now in 6th grade and I cant say her friends are the greatest since its all about boys and who has boyfriend. Kaila feels very insecure bc she is 5'8 with a size 10 shoe and just feels out of place while all the other girls are small and cute with boyfriends. My husband and I have talked many a talks with her. Dont think they are wrking. i have also talked openenly about sex never knowing what to expect. I did feel she was smart enough to make good judments.
She does well in school and since her classes where A/P classes, her grandfather got her a lap top. I put parental controls of course and she used it to play lots of games, write a paper or two and listen to music. She knew that I could take the laptop anytime to just ck out what she is in. Never anything bad but to my surprise yesterday she went to a website about "lezbo" . I went far back in history and it was only this once. Regardless, I took it away and asked her what it was and she insisted she didnt look at anything. Next day, I went in to look at the website and sure enough, it was what I thought- porn. She got home and asked her again and she denied it but I reminded her was that there is nothing worse then loosing anyones trust and especially ours and if she was going to honestly stand there and lie then she had to expect what was coming. She did admit to it and I lost it. I know if I did that as a young kid my mom would have beat me. I didnt do that. I told her I was so very disappointed and never could have imagined that she could ever do that and the evil it portrays. She didnt say a word as she heard my words. I told her she would be grounded completely from any activites from school, friends, phones, ipods and computers. She didnt react -maybe bc she was embarrased. She will not be able to ever close her door and where ever I go she goes.
I am so lost and feel like the worst mother for not guiding my daughter. She has shocked me with her actions. I have not said anything to my husband. He would go balistic. If I keep this between she and I , then thats not teaching her a good thing either. I am so lost. Anyone want to help out on this one?
Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Apr. 14, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)
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