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Just need some support tonight.

my fiance and i are raising his 12 year old younger half brother who suffers from PTSD, depression and severe anxiety because of abuse by his stepdad for years. we've had him for a few months.

Today was the first time I witnessed what I would assume was some sort of flash back. I feel so horrible because my fiance had JUST gotten home from work, and I keep wondering what I would have done if he hadn't of been there because I was so shocked, and scared and kind of overwhelmed.

Its all kind of a blurr so I'm not exactly sure what triggered it but, I was in the kitchen and jonah was in the family room watching tv. My fiance was in our bedroom and our twins were in their room napping.
All of a sudden I hear Jonah making some weird noises and I ran to check on him and found him on the floor crying and holding his head. I asked him what was wrong and he started screaming. he was screaming "I remember the closet i remember the closet" Zac came in and tried to calm him down using the steps the therapist has given us. but it wasn't helping.

this went on for at least 5 minutes, which seemed like so much longer. he was so upset and crying so hard he started to vomit. Zac couldn't get him to the bathroom because he couldn't pick him up. he hates being touched, so its espessially hard when he's havin an episode because sometimes Zac has to take him to his room or the bathroom or basically remove him from a dangerous situation and that requires physically moving him.

its just heart breaking to witness and feel like you can't do anything.

is there anyone else out there dealing with a similar sitaution?? i wish there was more I could do for him.

he eventually calmed down, and fell asleep. we called his therapist to let him know. i'm taking him in, in the morning to talk about what happened. we haven't tried to talk to him about it this evening because we're worried it will trigger another episode, and we are afraid to pry or push him.

i hate feeling so helpless.

thanks for reading.

Answer Question
 
agallo004

Asked by agallo004 at 1:05 AM on Apr. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (170 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. I can't really help, but my heart is with you. Jonah is lucky to have caring people who love him.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:14 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I'm sorry....my stepson did this for a while after we got him, he was removed from his mother's care by DHS...it took a long time, lots of patience and a really good anti psychotic to help him...he was 3 when we got him, he will be 8 in Sept...good luck, I hate that I haveut no advice but to just hang in there....
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 1:18 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • My husband's had a hard time in the past with my flashbacks. It sounds like his are still really intense and it may take him years to get any better. But shivas right a good anti psychotic may be the best thing right now.
    lizziebreath

    Answer by lizziebreath at 2:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • im so sorry mama, i wish there was something i could say that would offer some help but i dont have any experiennce with that kind of thing. i have ptsd but never got flashbacks like that. good luck and maybe the therapist can offer some good advice
    MamaSusieQ045

    Answer by MamaSusieQ045 at 3:21 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • i am so sorry to hear what you are going through i was physically and sexually aboused when i was young by my step dad and its just something the will never go away and also my mom was abused by my step dad even to this day if i see a man hit a women on tx i cry cause it brings back so many memories its just something that you dont get over its embed in your head for the rest of your life.he will eventually calm down as he grows up the memory will never go away but he will calm down in do time
    jtaylor03

    Answer by jtaylor03 at 11:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • It sounds like he was put in the closet as punishment. Ask your husband what the steps are that the therapist recommended him using so you can learn how. Are you familiar with any of his history? You will also need to learn whatever your fiance is learning to help Zac as well. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through with this. I would hate to think what that child went through over the years. I will keep you in my prayers. Good Luck
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:00 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

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