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2 Bumps

Is it degrading to allow your boyfriend/husband to go to the strip club with his friends on a weekly/biweekly basis? adult content

Before my boyfriend moved in, he specifically told me that he rarely goes to strip clubs...that if he wanted to see a naked girl he would come over and see me. (He said he had only been to a strip club 2 times in the last 3-4 years).
Now that he has moved in, and its been about 4 months, I have noticed that the subject is brought up at least once a week specifically when he hangs out with one group of friends. It seems to me that everytime he hangs out with these friends, he end up at a strip club. I don't know isf I should feel degraded. I definetly feel mislead and I don't want to allow something in my life that is degrading; I was under the impression that he never went to strip clubs and now I am suddenly bombarded with the subject as if it were something that happened on the regular. Most importantly, I don't want to overreact and say something that I will regret or that will make me look insecure. Is it normal for guys to go to the strip club? What exactly are they getting out of looking at these women? Please help me understand. Thanks!

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MaddyTaylor

Asked by MaddyTaylor at 1:41 AM on Apr. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • Well, 1st of all he's an adult, so you can't "allow" or "not allow" him to go. I think it's normal for guys, especially young ones to go to strip clubs....every week seems a much, but if he's going with a group of guys it's pretty normal. If he went all the time by himself, I'd be concerned.

    I don't think it degrades you at all, but if it makes you uncomfortable you need to talk to him. If you tell him he "can't" go, you're only forcing him to lie if he does go. Only he can decide if it's something he's willing to give up, again, he is an adult.

    Maybe it won't be that important to him & he'll stop going, or limit going & suggest doing other things with his buddies. If not, you'll have to decide if you're comfortable, or if this maybe isn't the right guy for you.

    The guys can't touch the strippers, there is lots of security and they're thrown out if they do. The girls have no real interest in these guys other than money.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:52 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I don't have a boyfriend anymore cause of the strip club. Those women have no morals & will say & do anything! They don't care about gf's or wives. I found so many strippers phone numbers, pictures sent to the phone (all over time, not over night). It was all temptation & they convinced him it was worth risking me & his baby over. The strip club & is persuasive cover up friends got him away from me. sayin," y u wanna b tied down w a family when u can have this?" Be careful. Xoxo
    shynu

    Answer by shynu at 1:55 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Do you think it's degrading? If it's degrading to you than yes it's degrading. IT shouldn't matter if it's degrading to us, we're not his girlfriend. IT should only matter to you, and if it bothers you than say something.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 1:55 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • They don't care about gf's or wives

    ===

    Of course they don't! Their job isn't to care about someone's relationship status, it's to make tons of cash in one night. And guys are stupid. You wave an ass or a pair of tits in their face and they suddenly become a freakin ATM machine!
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 1:57 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I won't let my hubby go I would be pissed off if he ever ask
    enaNianza

    Answer by enaNianza at 1:58 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Certain clubs have real security but guys can touch depending on which club. As long as they're not physically harming the strippers, it's cool. Most guys are drug dealing bouncers, depending on the club. V.I.P, guys can get bj's, have 3 some. Easy. I've been dragged to too many to think that security will stop sexual favors. All business.clubs pay off law enforcement easy.
    shynu

    Answer by shynu at 2:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • my husband isn't allowed to go
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 2:53 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • i wouldn't mind if my guy went every once in awhile with friends to have a good time...but bi weekly? please. I wouldn't want him to do that. I would definitely feel insecure and I would talk to him about it. If he really cares about you he'll stop.
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 3:02 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I agree with the first responded except she corrected you by saying you can't "allow" him to do anything but then suggest that you limit him ( which is the same thing as allowing him to do something) and then inferred that you will be the reason that he lies to you if you tell him you can't go...I'm not tearing apart what first response said just want to say to OP that I do believe that you can compromise and allow only what you will put up with. You dont seem ok with it so it should definitely be handled. I think that's sleazy if he's going that often and don't think he can't "talk" to strippers because I knew a few strippers and they could basically do anything, as long as they are making money, ya know. Not saying he is doing more but just saying it doesn't sound right one bit. GL
    ProudMammaMia

    Answer by ProudMammaMia at 3:07 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Why would you be degraded? Your not the one dancing. I think weekly is to much. Even monthly would to much. I use to go with my bf. It was a byob place and they were only topless as this is the law where I am from. I paid for him to get a lap dance. It was in all fun. But as a previous poster said talk to him about it. Let him know that it bothers you. Just be honest.
    krisrdh2009

    Answer by krisrdh2009 at 3:19 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

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