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What is a nice way to bring it to his attention that......

I am sick of him saying he will do something and then not doing it?

My other half has gotten into the bad habit of saying things like "I'll do those dishes before bed" and the next morning I am washing dishes or whatever he has said he would do.

I don't want to nag but if you say you will do something DO IT!

So how do i bring it up nicely so we don't have an argument about "well, why can't you do it?"


Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Apr. 15, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would let it come to "why can't you do it?" because I would respond with "because you said you would." I wouldn't be nasty about it, but it's the same as I would do my kids - you said you would do it, and therefore I expect you will do it. I would also point out, if he's volunteering to do them and you're not asking him to do it, that if he isn't going to do something, he shouldn't volunteer to do it.

    Another thing I would do is to explain that you understand that *sometimes* things come up so he can't do whatever it is, but that when that happens, he needs to talk to you and let you know so that you won't think he's just ignoring his responsibilities.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:31 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • man wish i knew but glad its not just me

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 9:23 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • With my experience its not worth the argument because he never does anything he says he will or if i ask him to do something he so conveniently forgets..every time!! My favorite is when i'm done doing something he says.."oh I could have done that for you" just learn to deal with it..

    Answer by melsa30 at 9:31 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I get annoyed and do it right in front of him on the few occasions he does this. He'll say, "I was going to get that," then try to take over, LOL.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:34 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Tell him to get off his ass and help. Just get right to it.

    Answer by spagirl0426 at 9:20 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • hmm when he says somthing liike :ill do the dishes before bed" maybe remind him like " hmm those dishes arent done..."

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Maybe get in the habit of right after you're finished eating you both get in the kitchen and get it cleaned up, and include the kids if they are old enough to carry things to the kitchen, etc.... It's a rule in our home. Our boys clear the table, and then if there's anything clean in the dishwasher they empty it, all 3 of them. Then I get in there and finish up. Hubby's not home most times, he works away a month at a time so I enlist our boys to help out.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:33 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Do you do his laundry? When he needs clean clothes, tell him you will do problem. Repeat word for word what & how he promises you so he will understand later....then dont do his clothes & when his clothes arent done, hehas wear those dirty clothes and hes upset...again repeat in his words of excuse that he gives you WHY he didnt do the dishes. Nagging at him wont get you any where, but if you use his own words and actions against him, he will catch on. If it makes him mad (eventually, you will need to make him mad to get the point across, you know that right) then you say.... "Now you know how I feel when you say your going to do something and dont. If your NOT going to do it...say so, so that I can and not be disappointed in you with false promises." Say it in a manner to make him think. Thats not nagging. Thats called finding a mutual ground in your relationship. Good Luck.

    Answer by lacyjones at 9:36 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I'm being a whiner because we don't have a dishwasher.. if we had a dish washer i wouldn't say anything but I HATE washing dishes by hand! Yes, that is my biggest issue but its the other things too.. taking blankets into town to wash them at his parents house because we live in his Grandmother's old home with a tiny washer and dryer that eats blankets, or cleaning the litter box.. just stupid stuff

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:38 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Be honest with him. If you can't be brutally honest with your partner, then who can you be honest with? You should be able to say "Babe, when you promise me something it's expected for you to carry it through. Sure it's only dishes, but if you can't come through on even that how am I supposed to view you as a reliable person?" Be honest.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:43 AM on Apr. 15, 2011