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Should I be concerned (ring question)?

My husband only wears his ring outside of the house and half the time he forgets to wear it then anyway. I don't know whether I am being insecure or not. I just feel like whether we are at home or not, he should wear his ring. I got really upset last night and shared with him that it made me upset. His answer was that he felt like he wasn't "married" yet. He said that he never wanted to get married before he finished school (he has 3 semesters left). I never wanted to either but we got pregnant and we decided that it was best to get married. I would have been happy just being together with him and not married and raising our son. I didn't care. Anyway, I am digressing. Would you be concerned if you were in this situation?

 
mrsjksimmons

Asked by mrsjksimmons at 10:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (364 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I would be more concerned that he doesn't feel married than that he doesn't wear his ring. To me, feeling married means having a commitment to one person that I'm going to be with for the rest of my life. If he doesn't feel that way, then it's not much of a marriage. But I guess it would depend on what he thinks being married is supposed to feel like!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:03 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Wow. My LP and I aren't married, but I know that he probably wouldn't wear a ring because he hates all jewelry and it would drive him crazy. The fact that he wasn't wearing it wouldn't set off an immediate alarm for me...but the REASON he gave does. What the hell...you all are pregnant with your 2nd child, you ARE married, and he is says that?! I would be more upset by the reason than the ring.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:21 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • you've stated how you feel and you ARE married.. you've done all you can do he needs to grow up
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:03 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Ouch. His words and actions would greatly hurt me. Although he didn't want to get married so soon, he did. What's it going to take for him to "feel" married?
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:03 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I do not wear a ring,, but I feel very married, my husband wears his 24/7, but because I am a stylist, I was constantly getting rashes and the diamond would sometimes pull people's hair, he doesn't care that I don't, but in your case the fact that he doesn't want to "feel" married is a worrisome sign,,, I think you had better have a long, long talk and perhaps counseling> so sorry mamma!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:10 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I asked him that, Orion, and he said that he just wanted to finish school and then he would be able to feel married. I just don't believe him though. I mean, he can't, or won't, feel like that now so why should I believe him that he can or will in 18 months?
    mrsjksimmons

    Comment by mrsjksimmons (original poster) at 10:07 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • You should tell him weather you feel married or not you are. Ask him how he would like it if you didn't wear your ring. Yo
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 10:07 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • at first id sya no because I took my off alot at home to do things like dishes etc but Im not used to jewelry and you said he does wear it outside the house but the comment about not feeling married would worry me maybe you need to renew your vows or soemthing
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 10:08 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • whoa sorry about ur situation..that is pretty crappy...how would he feel if u didnt wear your ring? maybe a dose of his own medicine might help. how do u not feel married! is what i dont understand.
    id be pissed .. not sure what i would DO tho . . id definantly be having a sit down talk with him. . . my husband always where his ring. he says he feels naked without it as do i...
    when he was in afghanistan a few years ago and losdt his ring in an attack he made me buy new matching ones and send hi his. . .
    GL to you :(
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 10:09 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I'm so sorry this is happening to you :( What does he think "feeling" married is?! He IS married and that's all there is to it. His feelings aren't going to magically change once he finishes school. You guys should try to nip this in the bud and get help now before things get worse. I know I might sound cheesy, lol, but my husband and I went on a marriage retreat where we watched this set of DVDs that we eventually bought called "Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage." It's hilarious and guys really relate to it well...it might help if you guys checked it out together :) I can almost guarantee you that both of you will enjoy it and hopefully you'll take some good information away from it. Good luck! And tell that man to put on his damn ring!!
    SpiffySnaps

    Answer by SpiffySnaps at 10:13 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

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