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Should there be a 'waiting period' where a BP can 'reclaim' their child?

I have always wondered what other people thought of this. It is probably stemming from watching too many Lifetime movies. But in all seriousness. Should a BP be able to 'change their mind' for months, or in some bizarre cases, years on the adoption of their child. Or should they not be able to change their minds at all once they sign the adoption papers?

I ask, because while I am quite certain that placing your child up for adoption is not by any means an easy decision, it doesnt seem right to me, to go back on that when your child has been taken in by a family that loves them. (just so we are clear here, this is a general question and has nothing to do with anyone specifically).

 
ProudSingleMum

Asked by ProudSingleMum at 9:11 PM on Dec. 1, 2008 in Adoption

Level 5 (60 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (69)
  • OP answering anon, just to close the question :D
    Thanks for the great replies ladies!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • absolutely because that would be painful for the adoptive parent who put love, money, time and effort into raising that child. Especially if they weren't able to have their own that would be devastating.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 9:13 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • i meant absolutley not****
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 9:14 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I dont think so that wouldn't be fair to the adopted parent or the child who had already bonded with the adoptive parents
    amymartinez0214

    Answer by amymartinez0214 at 9:34 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Nope! In our state the Bmom/dad have to wait 72 hours after giving birth before they can sign the papers. They want to make sure the Bmom is not under any type of drugs from the delivery and that she is making a clear decision. Once they sign the papers, there's no going back for them. That was a HUGE question we had when going into a private adoption....if they could ever come back and get the child. I have to say, that 72 hours feesl like an eternity when you're the Aparents waiting to hear if the Bparents signed the termination papers.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 9:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • In our case, the Bparents got an extra 24 hours becuase the 72 hours ended on a Sunday, so we had to wait until Monday for them to sign in front of the judge. Ok, can't talk of that anymore! Makes me cry when I think about how they must have felt signing those papers. It was there decision to let us adopt her, but the pain they must have felt that day is beyond any words I could even think of.
    LizClara

    Answer by LizClara at 9:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Each state has their own law on the waiting period. Some states require the mother/father to go to court, some allow them to sign and make it irrevocable anytime after birth, and some require up to 30 days.
    Most consents are irrevocable. I think it is odd since we can revoke about anyother contract.
    I would like it to be something and I think 72 hours is to early. Yes, it feels like eternity for the adoptive parents (yes, I have been there), but they are making a decision that affects the rest of their and their child's lives- 24, 28, 72 hours after birth.
    luckyshamrock

    Answer by luckyshamrock at 10:00 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • I think that it is a good and healthy thing to have 30 days to discover that you really made the wrong decision. I know that would put the adoptive parents in a more stressful situation, and the infant would have some separation issues if they were to take them back, but as luckyshamrock states these girls are making a decision that will impact their own lives until death and their baby's life in HOURS. A women many times does not even realize the love she has for a baby until she holds her baby, and by the time she is holding the baby the adoptive parents are likely waiting down the hall or somewhere nearby and how can she take everything back now? I have heard that story time and time again. She needs time AFTER the baby is born to consider her decision. .

    love4thelost

    Answer by love4thelost at 10:14 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • This is her baby, one she carried, nurtured and loved, one that KNOWS HER VOICE and her smell. The adoptive parents are strangers to this baby when they take him/her home, the sounds, smells, voices are all new. I placed a baby for adoption, but I knew that KNEW that it was right. I kept him for three months before I placed him and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it what God wanted for our lives, that it was the best decision.
    love4thelost

    Answer by love4thelost at 10:14 PM on Dec. 1, 2008

  • Many mothers do not have that, they regret their entire lives because they did not know or understand or everything went so fast. Let us have compassion on the mothers, and their babies, and if you should be blessed to take that baby into your home and lives and hearts, NEVER forget the sacrifice and the pain and death that that mother experienced so that you could give her baby every dream and hope and ounce of care she could not. And always remember that she is out there loving her baby, and thinking of her baby just as much as she did when she had them, maybe more
    love4thelost

    Answer by love4thelost at 10:15 PM on Dec. 1, 2008