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How do I handle this?

My four year old had started throwing up the middle finger over the last couple of days. I very sternly explained to her that you don't do that, it's ugly, etc. She looked so confused, almost like she didn't realize what she was doing. I asked her where she saw/learned that and she said from her teacher at school (3 K). I was talking with another parent who has a child in the same class and she said both of her children told her the same thing. Problem is this teacher and the director of the daycare are big buddies, and I am afraid if I make a big deal about it they will treat my children poorly for the remainder of their time there. (I have decided to withdraw them from this particular daycare for more than one reason.) What do I do?!

Answer Question

Asked by MyLilClaireBear at 11:17 AM on Apr. 15, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 8 (244 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • something needs to be said...and if you legitamitly fear that they will treat your child poorly because THEY did something wrong you need to get her out of there! thats not a healthy environment for such a young impressionable mind...and if you think you fear retaliation for saying something imagine how they make your child feel if something happens they don't want you to know about...not a good situation to put her in...I know it can be hard to find good daycare when my husband and I were both working we went through 4 before we found one that we liked for our little ones, I am lucky enough now to stay home with my children...good luck hun

    Answer by pregoagain2010 at 11:24 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • You need to address this...what else is this teacher showing the children? This is unbelievable. I would be looking for a new daycare provider too.

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:27 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I know the teacher has told me directly that my child is "out of control and they can't do anything with her so they just let her do whatever she wants while she is there." I never once got a notification that they were having any problems at all out of her. That really rubbed me the wrong way too. Yes, she can be a bit outgoing...but she is 4 for crying out loud!! I don't pay $100 for "teaching materials" for them to let her do whatever she wants. I am most definitely looking for a new daycare. I was very pleased with this day care up until they changed owners a few months back. It has been hell ever since. But we are in the process of trying to move so I will have to do research on daycares where we are looking to go. Thank you both for the advice.

    Comment by MyLilClaireBear (original poster) at 11:34 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Ahhh, my 4 yr old son just started doing this too! He was at daycare and one of the boys there told him that if you stick up your middle finger it means a bad word. So of course my son did it! I had a talk with him and the daycare and we have been ok since then. But yes, to answer your Q, I would definately address this issue with your child's teacher.

    Answer by smushy79 at 12:40 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I agree with spottedpony,

    Answer by KateShesGreat3 at 1:46 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Thanks you guys! I really appreciate your input!

    Comment by MyLilClaireBear (original poster) at 4:05 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I agree this issue needs to be addressed immediately and taken care of. My son has been doing the same thing and we have told him that it isn't proper to put that finger up and that he could get hurt by someone if he does it to the wrong person

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

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