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How can I plan a birthday for my son around my rude nephew?

My nephew is 6 going on 7, and is rude, loud, and destructive. My sister moved in with my parents last year after her divorce with her three kids. The first thing my nephew did was to peel off my mom's kitchen wallpaper right near the front entrance of the house so the impression when you walk in is that my parents are bums. They only had enough paper to fix part of it, and they had to place it in a crooked way. My mother spent a solid week papering that room, matching every little corner of every little flower so you couldn't even see the seams. She actually cried when she saw what he had done, but my sister didn't even apologize. The whole room, which was re-done only a short time ago, now looks trashy because of the screwed up paper. This story is just to illustrate my sister's behavior about her kids misbehavior, so you understand that saying anything to her is pretty much a waste of time and breath.

My husband and I live in a small apartment and want to have a birthday party for our son, but we can't fit our family in our place. I have ten siblings, and among them they have 14 kids. My husband has 5 siblings and they have 8 kids. We usually have parties at my parent's house, because it is huge enough to accommodate all of us. This year, we want to have a fun birthday party with family. My sister is still living there, and her son is worst than ever. Last year at our other nephew's birthday party he stole several of the birthday presents and said they were "his", spit on the birthday cake, and in general ruined the day for his poor cousin. I refuse to let this happen to my son, but can't think of any way to arrange the day without him being there. My sister is clueless about her son, and doesn't think anything of his behavior.

We have thought about renting a hall and not inviting my sister, but she would show up anyway and the money would be wasted. Even if we told her she wasn't invited and not to come, she would still come. Any ideas? I'm totally lost on this one.....


Asked by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Apr. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Someone needs to talk to her AGAIN. And AGAIN if necessary. It might feel useless and maybe it is, but at some point she has to get it, right? And if she won't take responsibility and say something to her child, then I would feel no qualms with showing a little force and saying "hey - you're not doing this today." Let him know you mean business and if your sister has an issue with it, just point out to her that if she'd pay more attention to her child, it wouldn't be necessary for other people to step in. I have a sister like this so I'm a little touchy on this subject...sorry if I sound rude about it. That's not my intention.

    Answer by SpiffySnaps at 11:39 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Maybe just have a party with your son's friends,, I would just perhaps not do the family thing until your sister gets it together,, your kiddo would probably love it!

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:40 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • could do it at the park. throw some dogs on the grill or hb's and keep your distance from sis & or nephew. And when you or hubby notices the terror in newphew towards another child (too) maks sure you get your sister and go talk to them away from others. And if if should continue then THEY NEED to go!!! this is YOUR sons b-day and you wont have it ruined.

    Answer by kkbird at 11:47 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Also tell your parents to set rules in their home to take charge! They have no choice, your sister is doing nothing.


    Answer by gammie at 11:48 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • chuck e cheese where a kid can be a kid? LOL

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 11:37 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • What bout a party at a park?

    And i would tell your parent to seek professional help for their grandson. Or he will be in prison soon.

    Answer by gammie at 11:43 AM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • what about a swim party at the local pool?

    Answer by ria7 at 4:21 PM on Apr. 18, 2011