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Getting over an EX

I'm so hurt so lost want to keep my head up and stay strong but life is throwing me way too many lemons that I think I'm starting to lose it. I'm currently trying to get over my ex but it hurts to see and know he's moved on. I know he is a horrible person to be with and at times I felt threatened by him so why do I feel the way I do? I'm glad its over and he's gone to be with someone else now I don't have to deal with him and his drama...but its HARD!

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melons712

Asked by melons712 at 12:00 PM on Jul. 10, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (3)
  • We ALL want to be irreplaceable! It's hard not to compare ourselves to the "new" partner. It's hard to imagine the arms that felt so good holding you holding someone else. I'm assuming there were some really good things mixed in with the bad...it's okay to miss those good things. Be good to yourself, learn to love those things about yourself that you hate (or change them).

    When you are ready to look for someone new, remember those "good" qualities that you like in your ex and look for someone who has those - without the bad things.

    I am married to a wonderful man, and I wouldn't consider going back to my ex, but it still hurts me that he moved on...even after I did
    lawmom623

    Answer by lawmom623 at 12:13 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • I think you miss the companionship and the normal everyday situations... But, you will eventually understand you made the right choice.. Hang in there hon.. times heal all... I remember when I was single, crying over so many guys... Now, I don't even remember why... what was I thinking.. that person was awful and I knew if the first time I saw them.. I didn't listen to my instincts... Listen to yours!
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 12:23 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • It certainly isn't easy when you are so emotionally attached. There is sometimes other things involved besides love. If he was abusive or just part of a toxic relationship there is something called trauma bonding. There is also something called relationship addiction. There are all sorts of possibilities you are dealing with.I just bought a book called How to Fall Out of Love. Not sure if it will give me what I need but hope it will. I also bought a book called Confusing Love with Obsession. I need to break off and stay away from a guy who is bad for me. Not easy to do. I remember when my abusive husband found someone else I was devastated. Then I got to a point where I thanked her for taking him off my hands. Once I changed my attitude it was easier to let go of him. It's not easy but you can do it. I'm here for you if you need to talk.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:52 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

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