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Im seriously going to lose it! (vent)

My husband was told that he would be deploying on april 29th about a week ago. In the past week he has been told he isn't going, yes he is going, they don't know if he is going. He asked to take a 2 week leave so that he could see his family before deploying. They granted it and he was supposed to sign out today. Well he can't sign out because no one has signed the paperwork yet! They told him today that he will be deploying, but he can't take leave until the paperwork is signed and also that he will need to come in next friday and saturday to do a funeral detail in ohio. We live in kentucky and we planned on going home for his leave in michigan. Are you fricken kidding me?! Why in the hell would you send a solider to do a funeral detail to see a soldier who has just died in your company when you are getting ready to deploy him?! They are so screwed up and so unorganized it is rediculous! On top of everything my husband wants me to move back home during his deployment and we have yet to come up with a family plan which is a must before he deploys. Every soldier is supposed to have a family plan in order. How would they like us to do this when they can't even tell us what the hell is going on?! I so badly would love to tell his commanding officer off, but of course I won't because that is not my place. Ugh! I am sorry for the long vent. I am just so stressed out right now and am lost on what to do.

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Asked by amber1330 at 2:24 PM on Apr. 15, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 22 (15,025 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You have a right to vent and be REALLY pissed over this BS. Welcome to military life. Your hubby basically signed his life and body over to them when he joined. I sometimes think they screw with people on purpose. Dosnt make it right, but damn! Everyone else in this world is forced to be consistent. Why cant the military be as well?

    Answer by vbruno at 2:26 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • So sorry thats all I can say. I won't even get started on a military rant.

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 2:27 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • This is going to be my husbands 4th deployment and never have I ever had this happen before. I am in complete shock on how they are handling everything. This is complete craziness!

    Comment by amber1330 (original poster) at 2:29 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Welcom to the military wives club! I suggest you get to know a few more of us. Banding together is our best defense. Other than that all you can do is talk to a chaplain. It probobly wont change anything but he may talk to your husbands commander about being more sensitive to the needs and issues of those under his command.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 2:31 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • 1st the funeral - The boy that died from his company, GOD BLESS HIM! deployment or not... its respectful for your husband to attend. Its not morbid, its lifes fact your husband must face.
    2nd deployment - be thankful that they are dragging their feet, that means you have him one day more at home. Because deployment is the reality of the boys funeral you mention. Dont be in such a rush. If the paper work isnt finished...great! That means more time. understand. My son is in the Army, he too is waiting for deployment in Jan. You can bet Im hanging on every minute hes home so that I can touch him. I pray for the boys that are already there and their safety & I weep for the young men that their mothers have to bury. Shame on you for being so self centered. Look at the bright side for your husbands sake and support him. He doesnt need the pressure of your crankyness.

    Answer by lacyjones at 2:41 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • How am I at all being self centered? They are taking time away from his family. They are still deploying him on the 29th. I do of course feel awful for the soldiers family I was not at all meaning to be disrespectful in that area at all. My husband has done many many many funeral details. My vent was toward my husbands company for being so unorganized. I have gone through 3 deployments with my husband, this will be the fourth in our 5 years of marriage. Every moment I have my husband home is treasured. My poor children only get to see there father for maybe a year at a time. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and one on the way that won't be able to meet his or her father until he or she is 4 months old. it is very frustrating and upsetting that my husband could be sent off and I may never see him again. His company doesn't give a crap about how that makes us feel.

    Comment by amber1330 (original poster) at 2:52 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • It is not about rushing the paperwork because reguardless my husband is leaving in a little over 2 weeks. Doesn't he deserve a full leave?

    Comment by amber1330 (original poster) at 2:56 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • And also, I am venting on here for a reason. So that I don't cause pressure and stress on my husband. He doesn't even know how I am feeling. I have only been loving a supportive towards him.

    Comment by amber1330 (original poster) at 2:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Is your husband in the Army? If so, I think they should change their motto to "Hurry up and wait". I feel your pain. On my husband's second deployment, they told him that they would be going to somewhere in Africa then they changed it to Iraq. They set the date, and it got moved up two weeks, then back a week, and then up two days, and back another week, and until finally, I got a call that he would be deploying the next day. It is very frustrating especially when emotions are so high during that time. My advice is to just go with the flow as best as possible and enjoy every last minute you have with him.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 2:59 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Your a strong girl & your married to a soldier. Life is tuff to all whos loved one is in the military but especially for the soldier. You have to keep the home front strong for him...that your job. Make decisions with out him if need be. He does not ever need to feel the pressure of the family (thats your job now sugar) he only needs to feel the love and respect, honor you, his family and especially his children have for him so that he can concentrate of staying safe. I know I dont need to preach this to you. I feel your concerns but your wonderful babies will love and respect him because of the WHYs he is absents & the WHYs he choose to be a soldier. You continue to help them to understand why there daddy is so special. I dont really think you so mad at the Military especially since this is #4 for you, as much as your already missing him...just like I am my son. Its easier to be mad at something like the Military than ...

    Answer by lacyjones at 3:06 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

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