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2 Bumps

Am i taking what my dh said as something entirely different? adult content

I'm going thru a miscarriage right now and last night my dh was saying he doesn't want to have sex, which is obviously a given because im bleeding but i haven't bled in almost a day and i was try to talk to him about it but he was saying that he wants to wait a while and make sure im okay, but im fine and im ready to have sex its been 2 weeks and i think im taking this the wrong way like hes not attracted to me or doesn't want to be with me anymore when i don' think thats the case, i think hes still trying to get over the miscarriage as well. im freaking out and i need some reassurance i cried so hard last night and i just love him to pieces and i don't want him to fall out of love with me or leave me...but i think im being a little overboard because he didn't say anything like that at all!

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Apr. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think he's just worried he might hurt you.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:56 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I think that you are taking it wrong. he just lost a baby, just like you and he, in his head, probably thought that he was losing you in the process. Give him some time. He has to get over the thought that you just went thru something terrible and wants to give you time to heal.

    Do lots of cuddling.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:57 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Just give him some time honey, like Jademom said, he lost a baby too and he's probably trying to cope with that, and he may be thinking that your trying to have sex for him instead of because you want to....just give him a little time.

    Also I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you all the luck in the world

    Answer by Lucky209 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • This is how I personally would take that, if it were my husband.

    I would feel that: my husband was extremely worried about my health and well being.. Being a man, he really doesn't express that well at times. Therefore one way , "protecting me", helping me stay safe until he was no longer as concerned would be by not having sex with me. I'm sure there would also be the lingering worry/fear that I may get pregnant again really soon and that could worry him as well ( worry in regards to my health/baby's health).

    I can't see myself taking it as a personal rejection, or that he no longer wants me/finds me attractive..etc.. I would take it as one of his ways of dealing with the reality of what's is and has been going on with me.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:00 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • He sound worried, I wouldn't over analyze this.

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 4:03 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Oh I really want to add that I am sorry for your loss

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:04 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I think he's worried about hurting you, physically and mentally. I think he's still trying to work out the miscarriage for himself. It affected him, too. I think he may, in a weird way, worry he may break you. And he may just not be in the mood because sex leads to pregnancy, and you just lost one. That is so very much on his mind, and he's very freaked about it. He's not falling out of love with you. He's not NOT attracted to you. He's worried about what might happen if sex happens right now. But, other forms of affection would be great. Cuddling, talking, holding hands, things like that would be really good right now. It would also help you both get through this. The physical touch, but not a sexual touch, will go a long way. I'm sorry you guys are going through this, I have never myself. I can't imagine. But, I know you both need to lean on each other right now.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:17 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

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