I come from a very split up family. My parents were married 10 years, but I was 5 when they divorced. My dad then remarried several times, which was terribly hard and confusing for my baby sister and I. (He turned out to be a terrible dead beat anyways). My mother re-married, and is still married to the super fantastic man I have called dad for the past 16 years. I guess I am thankful to have gotten to experience a happy family, and a sad family, all at the same time. I have decided for myself, never to get married because of everything I went through as a kiddo. Now, I am in a very serious/ awesome relationship, we are expecting our first child and are both super stocked about her :) But, he has now decided that he wants to marry me!! he, has been married before, and divorced in less than a year. I feel as if I am in a pickle. The thought of marriage terrifies me. I never want my kids to have to experience life the way that I did, I believe that if you get married, it's sacred and divorce should not be something you drag your kids through. It was a terrible experience for me. I love my boyfriend dearly. I feel as though we are totally soul mates and will be together forever. why the need for a marriage certificate, a big wedding? I just dont get it. But... I know he wants it. what would you do???!!! I have expressed these fears with him, but its still something important to him. I don't think he will leave me for not marrying him, but I do believe it will put a damper on our relationship. I know it will hurt him, and I totally understand where he is coming from etc. But how do we both keep our values, and make this work? The baby will have both our last names hyphenated legally, but we will only really acknowledge his. Im just not sure what to do. Thankssss!!!
Answer by Melbornj at 5:51 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:51 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by CrazyMommy87 at 5:38 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:54 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by 2boysyahoo.com at 5:56 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 6:01 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
But how do we both keep our values, and make this work?
I don't believe both of you will have your way, someone will have to bend or come to an agreement and make it work from that point.
Answer by musicmom08 at 6:43 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by elizabr at 8:01 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by oahoah at 11:42 PM on Apr. 15, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Apr. 15, 2011