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So alone:( long...

I got pregnant with my first child in February 2007. Since then my friends have all disapeared. I am so depressed and I used to cry about it but its been so long now that I don't have the energy left to cry. Some of them are pregnant with their first kid now and I still try to call them to hang out- but I resent them.

I hate that throughout my 2 pregnancies and my kids' life they haven't called EVEN ONE TIME to go out to dinner or to stop by to visit (we live about 5-10 minutes away from each other). I hate that no one cared how I was feeling or could relate to me while I was pregnant...

It really makes me angry that I put effort in to be these peoples friends and get nothing in return. I feel like having these people ditch me has left me unable to make new friends (I have no friends- seriously. I have tried play groups to meet moms, moms sites, I go to "kid friendly" places almost every day to try to meet moms with kids similar to my children's ages).

I want so much to be able to make new friends but have no energy or trust left. It makes me feel like a loser and an idiot. My husband is sick of me complaining about the same issues week after week and month after month.

I honestly don't know what to do that I haven't tried already. I feel like I am cheating my kids by not having friends with kids who we can hang out with for them to play together.

sorry this is a long vent. I am just really having a bad day and my emotions are catching up with me.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:13 PM on Apr. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • *HUGS* Been there with the whole no friends dillema. I moved to a new city and felt the same way. Being a mother can be very lonely at times. If you ever want to chat, look me up. :)
    wendydays

    Answer by wendydays at 9:17 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Aah - I'm so sorry. Obviously those people weren't really your friends - but don't be suspicious as you move on. Everyone won't be like that and ya just gotta put yourself out there and meet some other moms - some times people change and friends move on. Chin up, cheer up and friends will come.
    8Tinkerboo8

    Answer by 8Tinkerboo8 at 9:18 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I know exactly how you feel and I'm having the exact same shit happen to me right now. I'm suuuuuuuuuuuper depressed all the time and I'm fuckin lonely and nobody gives a shit. My SO doesn't want to hear me complain and well..nobody really does. I'm jobless and broke on top of that and I play stupid facebook games when my kids are sleeping and I gained a lot of weight and its terrible!

    On the bright side your babies are probably wonderful and if you take them to the park and stuff you will feel better. Sunlight does make you feel better! If I had an answer for these problems I wouldn't be in the same boat! If I find one, I will definitely post it all over cafemom for you! =)
    xmama_bellax

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 9:18 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I'm there too. I found it incredibly hard to make friends before I had kids now I just think its impossible. My husband tries to find wives or gfs of his friends for me to hang out with but i just don't seem to connect to anybody. I like this site because it gives me other women to talk to.
    CrazyMommy87

    Answer by CrazyMommy87 at 9:26 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Girl get up and stop whining. Life is too short. Make new friends, forget the old ones. Have fun with your kids, forget about them.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:27 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Take the kids out shopping and dinner. Have a blast, you don't need those friends. You got it good without them. I don't have too many friends, and if they stop visiting, I'll be just fine. Snap out of it.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:28 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I hear you honey. Today especially has been troubling. My true real friends live in a dif state...and while I appreciate them I can't just call and say "i need out of this house"! I have 2 "friends" locally one that calls when she is drunk and lonely and the other is my sil so I can't be open and completely honest with her cuz she tells her hubby who tells his brother who is my dh......its wicked. I was a football mom for years....and while all the KIDS liked hangin out at our house....i guess i wasn't good enough for the moms club :(. IDK there have got to be other MOMS in OUR areas where we can meet up. But my hugs go your way. And CrazyMommy87 is right CM has given me a great way to "connect"
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 9:31 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I hear you. I just recently found out that the person I thought was my best friendf or the past 3 years was only using and manipulating me. She showed me her true colors, and stabbed me in the back, hard, in the process. She's dependent on her husband (she can't take him being in another room for more than 5 minutes without going to look for him) and has an addictive personality (her words). When I wouldn't support her stupidity when she got drunk one day she told me to piss off and that we were done, that I was fake and blah blah blah. She said several very hurtful things.


    Because of her I doubt I'll ever trust another person enough to build any kind of close friendship again. I won't be used like that again.  so hear you about the friends thing.

    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 10:01 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Maybe try getting involved in church groups or try some new and different intersts for yourself and kids. Somewhere along the way you will make connections. There are phases you go through while raising children- forget the past and make your future better. Only you can change your life. Look at things differently and count your blessings. Hold onto gratitude and humor. People will want to be around you if you are a positive person. Look up "Two Wolves, A Cherokee Parable" It is so true. Good Luck.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 10:56 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I am so sorry. Have you tried looking for moms' groups and play groups on meetup.com? Just an idea......Think positive. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:03 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

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