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Am i being unreasonable about not naming my daughter after my husbands sisters who died

Firstly my husband is against it as well but his mother said we should do it as a middle name (she suggested the same with DD and now that we are coming up with names for our new baby she is starting again) i love the name but we have agreed on no names for family members because my husband is a 2nd and resents it. The issue is she keeps mentioning it saying how it would honor them and it would be like a second chance with her daughters how if the baby is a girl she would have another chance i want my daughter to have there own life and would hate if my MIL looked at them and acted like it was her daughters again so am i right with staying firm on this or should i give in and always feel bad that DH and I didn't stick with our beliefs


Asked by krissii at 9:33 PM on Apr. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,127 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Sounds like your MIL needs some kind of counseling... naming YOUR daughter similiar to hers...isnt going to bring her baby back. As sad as that is...its not fair to you. You two stick to your gut and name your babies what YOU want to name them..not to please someone else. If you spend your life trying to please everyone else you will never be happy. This is for YOU TWO...not for her. It's not about her and she is making it about her....
    It will be hard... but she needs to understand..
    GL mommy =]]

    Answer by Mommy103110 at 9:43 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I can imagine it is very hard for your mil to deal with the loss of her child- but it is not your responsibility to help her heal by compromising what you want for your child. Stick to your guns and name your child what you want. A baby doesn't need a painful reminder or odd expectations attached to him or her from birth.

    Try to explain to grandma how you feel- but don't feel obligated to give in to her whims.

    Answer by bloomsr at 9:37 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Your child, YOUR CHOICE. Whether or not you choose to go with what your MIL suggests is up to you. I personally would tell her to shove it, we're naming the kid whatever we wanted to.

    The only time either of our parents even had a CHOICE in helping name any of our children was our youngest, Kay-Lynn Rose. She would have been Kay-Lynn Ruth (hub's G-ma's middle name Kay, hub's mom's middle name Lynn, my mom's middle name Ruth), but my mom told me her middle name was suppose to have been Rose, but because a neighbor had named their dog Rose, her mom changed it to Ruth. So to honor the name my mom should have been given, we gave her the middle name of Rose.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 9:38 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • You're MIL is taking it WAY over board. However if you both like the name it shouldn't matter that his sister had the name. But then I've always thought family names were awesome (they don't all have to be a 2nd or 3rd) All of mine have a family name in some fashion.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 9:40 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • No. You name her what both of you agree on.

    Answer by MexTexmom2 at 9:35 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • stick with your beliefs. She is your child and you should name her as you please not be guilted into something that has a negative memory attached.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • I don't think that is unreasonable at all. My MIL wanted us to name our son after her brother as well as her friend from high school. Stick to your beliefs. We, also, wanted our son to have his own name.

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 9:36 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • Name your dd what you want. You and your dh created this baby so it should be your decision not the MIL.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 9:36 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • If you and DH agree not to do it I don't really see the problem.

    Answer by CrazyMommy87 at 9:37 PM on Apr. 15, 2011

  • That's your kid, tell her to mind her damn business and if she wants to name a baby to have her own. Tell her she should respect your opinion.

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 9:38 PM on Apr. 15, 2011