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Would you be upset if you found out your son was gay?

My 18 year old son is very depressed and I think it's because he might be gay. I feel so upset and scared for him. It's not that I'm against gap people, it's because of the way people treat and make fun of them. It's goint to break my heart to see him go through this. He doesn't look or act gay, it's just that I can't think of what else it could be. The psychologist says he needs to be on anti depressants right away. but can't tell me why for confidentiality reasons. My son won't tell me what it is that is causing him so much pain. I'm thinking about just coming out and asking him, but don't know if that is a good idea.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on Apr. 16, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (17)
  • If you have a good relationship with your son, then yes I would sit down and talk to him. Letting him know that you support him whatever decision he makes, whether he is gay or not will at least show him that he has someone in his corner. And having someone to talk to helps alot also.

    Answer by Lencha at 8:20 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Do you have any real reasons to think he is depressed because he is in the closet gay.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:21 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • No!!! there is nothing to be upset about.. everybody is different in there own way!

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 8:21 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Sorry forgot to answer. No I would not be upset.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I would be upset but i agree with the above poster, that's what i would do. you know u will still love him the same and u should let him know that....sounds like he needs someone to talk to.

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 8:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • hmm idk about asking him.... because if he is not that might be bad..but you know him better than us good luck mommy!!!

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 8:23 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I wouldnt be upset if my son grew up and turned out to be gay, Im bisexual myself so that would be somewhat hypocritical. Anyways with your son if you have a good relationship with him then I think you could ask him if he is gay just make sure you do it in a way that he knows you're not judging him for it that you just want to know.

    Answer by AshMac416 at 8:49 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I understand why you'd be grasping at straws here. I would be doing the same thing in your situation, just to figure out why my kid was soo depressed. However, it might cause unneccissary drama to go up to him and throw out random reasons as to why he might be depressed. I think that it's important to sit down with him and let him know that you're there for him. That whatever it is you two can get through it together. I don't agree with just throwing someone on Anti-depressents. That doesn't solve the problem. The problem needs to be addressed first, and I think every psychologist should practice that before resorting to medication.

    If my son were gay, transgender, purple, or thought he was a space man from Jupiter I'd still love and support him.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:54 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • If he is already seeing a theapist then I would just wait until he works it out I am sure if this is the issue he will tell you once he has come to terms with it. Just be there for him and let him know that no matter what the problem is will will always love him. He will open up to you when he is ready.

    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 8:59 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I don't know if I'd ask him but I'd tell him that there is nothing in the world that would make me not love him anymore. If you ask him and he's not gay he might be hurt that you think he is gay! So that might backfire on you. No it wouldn't bother me if my son was gay. I'd rather him be gay than to be mean, heartless, a child molester, a bank robber. My point is that there are lots of things worse than being gay. Most gays are wonderful people. I just want my son to be happy and proud of who he is.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:13 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

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