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2 Bumps

I know it sounds bad.... but is it really that awful ?

My best friend and I have been friends since our first day of high school ( so going on 10 years) ... we both have 2 kids each...and we usually doa lot of things together...

Her oldest boy is about to be 5 ( her youngest just had his 1st birthday party) ... after her oldests first birthday party - I hate to admit it but I try to avoid his birthday parties.... I mean i usually do stop over for a short time but there has been a couple years when I "couldnt go" .. of course I alwasy still get him a gift and the last few years we have made a thing of taking them to the zoo for the day in honor of his birthday ( for us the zoo is abig thing because it is an expensive all day trip) .

The reason i dont like to go is because of her family... and she lives in a super small house ( you are literally side by side with everyone there ) ... half of her family is huge druggies, the other half are loonies... it is sooo hott in her little house and it is just miserable...

She has also made a thing of not coming to my kids parties ( because she and her family usually have a ton of plans on weekends which is when I have my kids parties) and she will just come over and we have a cupcake party with the kids before one of my kids birthdays...

I like how we are doing things and was planning on keeping this up.... but now she has asked if I am coming to her sons party this year and acted mad that I hesitated ... I guess I thought we had a mutal thing going but now I feel bad that all of these years we have done this....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Apr. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would just go for a short period of time. My MIL and FIL have friends that I don't particularly like my son to be around (the same reason as you). We go for a short time and then leave a little bit after their friends show up.

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 10:36 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • You could go for a short time, and you could also maybe casually mention something about the reason you didn't commit right away to a "yes" was because you wanted to check with your dh first to make sure that you didn't already have plans, because you would hate to say yest just to have to cancel later.

    Or you could say something along the lines of how you love to celebrate with her, but you know how important family is, so you would rather let his party be for family, and do something special with them to celebrate another time...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:40 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • if she is a true bf then you should be able to explain to her the real reason why you do not want to go without her being offended. she should understand. tell her its not her..its her family. let her know you will just pop in..or that you would be happy to stop by before they show, or maybe after they leave.

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:25 AM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Is it that bad that you can't go--have cake, give a gift and leave? For a friend?

    Answer by MamaMia9999 at 8:30 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • well I mean i usually do go and i stay but then I leave when most of them are arriving...

    I can tell her everything - except this.... she has told me so many horrible stories about her family ( her mom use to make her sleep on a rug ont he floor, and her brothers all had their own rooms.... they wouldnt even let her have her own toothbrush and she had to "sneak" to brush her teeth) ... it makes me sick to even be around these people and the one party that I did go to ( her youngest 1st party) her brother actually went behind her house and smoked weed !!! ....


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:48 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

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