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3 Bumps

Step moms

I have noticed this both on here and in my own life but it seems that dating/ living with a man who has children makes you a step mom. Am I the only one who thinks it is creepy to call yourself a "step mom" which mean woman married to the father of the children, if you aren't married.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Apr. 16, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (22)
  • I don't think it's actually creepy but hey if you aren't comfortable with the title, it's not a requirement that it be used.  I call my dads girlfriend my stepmom.  To me she's a little more then just "my dads girlfriend" and I feel like I'd be putting her down by calling her that.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:07 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • It depends, if you live with that child and have been for a while, and you take care of the kids like its your own, then yea you're a step mom. If you're dating the guy and his kids dont live with him..then no. My SO has 2 sons, one of which lives in another state and I have never met him, and the other one is 9 and I met him a few times..but I'm not his stepmom, I dont take care of him.

    Answer by xmama_bellax at 12:09 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I ask because my cousin's little girls came home saying their "step mom" came with them to the mall. My cousin was PISSED because her and her ex aren't even legally divorced, just separated and already he is getting his kids to call his girlfriend step mom. I guess if you are older that is one thing but for children, I think it gives them a sense of attachment to a woman who could be gone tomorrow.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:11 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Oh I definitely can see where she would be pissed.  I feel like "stepmom" is a title earned, not just thrown around to every girlfriend dad runs through. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I dont think it's a title that should be thrown around. But, I am a full time "step mom" to my son. His father & I are engaged but, we aren't sure when we'll tie the knot. At this point he hardly ever sees his birth mom & she is severely mentally ill. I have raised him with his father for well over 3 yrs since before he was 2. I'm his full time mom so, I have no qualms about calling myself his step mom although I refer to him as my son.

    As long as the bio parent & their partner is in a long term comitted relationship, I don't think it's wrong. But, only under those circumstances. There are some "real" step parents that don't even call themselves a "step" anything & don't refer to their spouses kids as their step kids, just as 'their spouse's kids'. Now I don't think that's right but, far be it from me insert myself in others affairs.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 1:48 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • my boyfriend calls me his daughters step mom....i actually feel weird when he does because iv only met his daughter a couple times in the year shes been alive (shes a year old on the 23rd of this month)

    i call myself her half mom as a joke because im having her baby half brother, her mom doesn't seem to mind though since the little girl doesn't even call me mommy or anything

    im the kinda person that will tell my boyfriends daughter to call me mama liz or something like that....i know when i had a step mom my mom cried when i called my step mom "mom", and i dont want her mom to feel like mine did

    Answer by Lizzypuppylove at 2:21 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • No child should be asked to call anyone mom or step mom that isn't thier biological mother. This is the Childs choice to make. I am 'mom' to one of my fiancรฉ's three beautiful children, but I live with and care for them daily. I am whoever they need me to be.

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 3:41 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Yeah I think it is crazy anyway. Just think I would not want my kids refering to anyone else besides me as MOM

    Answer by mimi497 at 10:00 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • To the last two posters, this was about what the woman refers to herself as, not what the child is told to call her. I think most reasonable peole recognize that it's the child's choice.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 8:46 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years and have two sons. I have 3 from my first marriage and he one from a past girlfriend. I have been in her life since she was 5. She tells people I am her step mom...and I am.

    Answer by salexander at 11:22 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

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