Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

who receives custody when both parents have violent pasts?

Divorcing abusive husband but he only went to jail for domestic assault once with 2 counts and i didn't go to court so charges were dropped. i was later charged with child neglect for leaving child in the car unsupervised for a few minutes (my children were not taken away and CPS was not called) but those charges are being dismissed in a couple of weeks due to a misunderstanding. i am also in a financial bind because H doesn't help me with anything & he finds it funny. (he's deployed). who would most likely get our child? i now know what i did was wrong and will NEVER do it again but i can't let my child live with that man. he's already made it clear our child will be getting beatings like the ones he had. not whippens... beatings.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • In this case a judge will review the case and determine who gets custody of the child if their is a custody battle.

    Answer by bubblycute at 2:44 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • if he is in the military and abusive..go to his chain of command and make a complaint. Plus if he is not helping with money, the military will get to the bottom of that. They pay him extra money a month plus even more on top during deployment and if he isn't providing for his family they will make things right. GO TO THE MILITARY WITH IT! Even if you did wrong still go to them...don't miss out on the opportunity.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • In cases where there are issues on both sides, the child is granted an attorney by the court and the attorney acts as the representative for the child/children. They investigate everything and make a recommendation to the judge as to what they think is best for the child. Then the judge reviews the info and usually goes with the recommendation. Since the child attorney will be neither for or against you, it is best to work with him/her to the fullest extent and be honest about everything up-front. Chances are that unless he was abusive to the child, he will be granted some type of custody and/or visitation....but I don't know your situation....just giving you a general idea. I hope it works out for you.

    Answer by Raegy at 3:42 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I don't think he can get custody while he's deployed, can he? As for the rest, if CPS wasn't called and the charges are being dismissed, that will help you a bit. His abuse - you need to document everything you can. Try to get him (I know, most people aren't stupid enough to do it, but try) to say it in front of a witness or in writing about beating your child. Do you have any pics of the abuse he did to you? I'd give those to the court as back-up to your statements, as well as informing them that you didn't go to court so the charges were dropped. Sorry I'm not much help, but that's all I could think of. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:50 AM on Dec. 2, 2008