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2 Bumps

Gma overstepping bounds??

I think my MIL is over-stepping her bounds with DD, DH says I'm ungrateful and need to get over it. She has always taken her to get her pictures done. And I apperciate the pictures. BUt she just goes and takes her, doesn't tell us, we don't get any say. She just takes her and a few weeks later hands some pictures. I would just like to be involved somehow. For awhile we couldn't afford to get her pictures done. But now we can and I have an appt set up for her Easter Pics. Dh is up visiting her right now and she just up and took dd to go see the Easter Bunny today, didn't even tell Dh she was going to do it. And that just really bothers me. It feels like she is just going and doing all of these things with dd and not even talking to us about it, it feels liek she taking some of this stuff away from us. I told Dh it might not be important to him, but it is to me! She had her chance to do that stuff with him, she needs to let us do it for dd now. IDK, maybe I am over-reacting, but that's just the way I feel. And it's not just the Easter Bunny and the pictures, theres a million other things too. She bought dd 5 times as much for Christmas as we did. She bought dd more than what she got from EVERYONE ELSE total. and it was just like she was saying "o look what I can do" It just really bugs me...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Apr. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • from what you wrote.... i don't really see what the big deal is. MIL sounds like a proud grandma who is in love with her grand child and wants to spoil your dd. now;; if your MIL took your dd on a school night and returned your dd after 10 pm that would be a problem, but so far i see nothing wrong here.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 10:52 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Why not just tell her that there are some things that you would like to do with her first before anyone else does.

    Maybe she doesn't stop to think that these things are firsts not just for DD but for you to do with DD as well.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:53 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I understand completely, and would be more than irate. However, sometimes as mom's we forget that others out there want to experience the things with our kids too....so who cares if she does it honey, just take DD and do it again...you have an appt for pics, GREAT take her and get them done....let gma have her time and you take yours...Your DD will remember this...and remember, no one can take the place of mommy, no matter how they try, so stiffen up that lip and go do your thing with your DD even if gma has already done it. Good Luck and hugs to you.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 11:04 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • How old is your DD if you don't mind me asking? I would be upset if it was the first time she saw the Easter Bunny and so on. But on the other hand, if it's been done before, I probably wouldn't mind. My MIL did that to us at first, but she didn't realize what she was doing. I would just tell her nicely when you don't want her to do something.

    As far as the pictures go, I would love if my MIL did that. I don't think she's doing it to be cruel. I think she is just enjoying her grand-daughter while also giving you a nice gift :)
    amberdawnbarr

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 11:14 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • DD is only 15 mo's
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:15 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • MAybe the MIL need to talk to you and your DH more often and include you guys in on what she plans on doing with YOUR CHILD!! You 2 are the one that made her, and personally i think she is going a lil too far!!
    Manda725

    Answer by Manda725 at 11:18 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I understand. my MIL used to do stuff like that too. I finally just said that my kids are MINE and she needs to at least talk to me about stuff before she does it.
    VBM7287

    Answer by VBM7287 at 11:19 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Maybe you should tell your MIL there are some things you want to do with YOUR child and if she wants to tag a long she can.
    conweis

    Answer by conweis at 11:19 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I understand where you are coming from then since my DS is only 18 months. I know it's hard since you don't seem to have your DH on your side. I would try nicely asking her if she could let you know before she does things like that. Hopefully, she will understand. What I realized with my MIL is that she was so used to being a mother that she would forget sometimes that my son isn't hers. Hopefully that makes sense lol. It took a while, but she is finally taking the role of a grandmother instead of the role she is used to. I'm sure your MIL will do so soon.
    amberdawnbarr

    Answer by amberdawnbarr at 11:19 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Don't feel like your over-reacting. If there is something you don't feel comfortable with you don't have to apoplogize. That's your child and you have the right to have an opinion on the things that go in her life. Some people just need to be told, try talking to her or your DH should talk to her since it's his mom.
    LovinMySon84

    Answer by LovinMySon84 at 3:04 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

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