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5 Bumps

How do I let my husband know?

I have been battling with weight since I was in high school. Now that I have to gain weight for a coming up surgery it is getting harder for me to ignore it. I was a size 1 when I met him and now I am a size 3 and 120 pounds. Everytime I look in the mirror I see fat even if there is none there. I am seeing a thearpist and wanted to let her know to. I just don't know how to let it out. I am a pretty private person overall when it comes to things like this, I just don't want to go back to the way I was in high school. I know that I am not "fat" but when I look at myself I feel that way. So how do I tell my husband all this without him freaking out. 

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Apr. 16, 2011 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Surprisingly.... most men like a woman with a few curves!! There is a reason Marilyn Monroe was thought of as America's Sexiest Female by MANY men in her day AND in ours! Please don't feel bad about the weight gain! Talk to hubby as much as you can and tell him you need his support to be healthy! If he loves you, he will help you and understand!
    FingerPainter

    Answer by FingerPainter at 1:00 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • I would just be totally honest. I am the same way as you, and I am 155 pounds right now because I quit smoking twice in one year. Can you imagine how freaked out I am? And yet my dh, because he is my best friend, tells me he thinks I am so beautiful and still hot and says I look better now that I am not SO skinny. even though I don't believe him and want my tiny body back-I will get it back. Just be healthy girl. Our self worth should not have anything to do with our size or our looks.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:50 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Your husband is your best friend. Just simply tell him what is going on and how you feel....

    And just so you know..i would do anything to be 120lbs.....If you think you are fat...gosh, i wonder what you would think of me. I understand this is obviously more of an emotional thing for you... just talk to him. =]]
    Mommy103110

    Answer by Mommy103110 at 11:50 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • I have no idea honey cause just reading your post my first thought is that you might be anorexic.....I hope I am wrong but it definatly sounds that way.....120lbs is a perfect, healthy weight mama....Just tell him how you feel and good luck honey
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 11:52 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • let it out a lil at a time. depending on how tall you are being a size 3 at 120 is probably ok. this for you is more mind than anything. your therapist will be your rock and you need to lean on her becuz that's her job. as far as your husband go i would start intergrating him into your therapy session. some men don't have the "tools" to deal with this type of situation becuz they can't "fix it". when you have a man that loves you he wants to fix your problem and if he can't then he's lost. and you can always talk to me if you need to. i hope you get thru this. it's going to take time and patience
    MommaSyrup07

    Answer by MommaSyrup07 at 11:53 PM on Apr. 16, 2011

  • Tell him what is going on or have him come along when you see the therapist.
    conweis

    Answer by conweis at 12:00 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Tell him you have something to share with him...Tell him that it's an insecurity and then ask him if he would like to share one of his insecurites with you. One time I was having insecurity issues and I didn't even realize thats what was going on until my boyfriend told me 2 of his deepest insecurites. He said of all the girfirends he ever had he only let 2 see his feet and only let one (me) touch them. I suddenly felt compelled to share my insecurity and felt more comfortable telling him knowing that he has them too.
    MaddyTaylor

    Answer by MaddyTaylor at 12:12 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • 120lbs is a perfect weight for 5'4....and congragulations on overcoming your anorexia....don't let having to gain weight for your surgery make you relapse okay? Remember you need to be as healthy as possible for your husband and child(ren)....my hubby is my very best friend...if I were going through something I would just come out and tell him...MommaSyrup is right though...men have the need to "fix" all of our problems so just let him know that the best thing he can do for you is just listen.....I honestly hope everything works out for you honey and I'm going to keep you in my prayers
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 12:15 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • tell him what you are going thru --is whats stopping you the fact you think he will say you are overreacting and be really insensitive about your feelings and all the dynamics of a eating disorder --like my SO did , i hope thats not it
    im 5 ft 4 '' when i was 130 lbs everyone especially my SO thought i looked sick and skellital , i sure didnt i still saw fat and unacceptable,
    sorry you are going thru this , and you must let most of this go and focus on your alive and you arent deathly sick , dont be so hard on yourself , lighten up and eat or get someone who can show and tell you what you need to eat to be healthy , ok . --write all your feelings out and then some, and then safely Burn all the writting up you did in a safe place it does wonders for feeling like you let it all or mostly all go --go away-- burn your problems away-- see what your theripist thinks of this ! be strong
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 12:39 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • I did go through bouts of anorexia in high school, but I over came in. I never weighed more than 105 years for 18 years. When I got pregnant I gained weight but lost it all. And now I am being told that I have to weigh 120-125 pounds before they can do surgery so they can make sure my body has enough fat so I can heal and just in case they need to get a skin graft. I am 5'4''
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

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