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5 Bumps

I am about to beat her...

My dd is 4 1/2 and refuses to listen. If I tell her to come here, she gets up and walks away. If I tell her to get out of the kitchen or whatever it is, she ignores me. She has started biting and hitting too. I have used nothing but time outs and taking away toys and "Privledges" up until now. I am honestly at the point of everytime she doesn't listen spanking her butt. She KNOWS her bounderies and rules...they have been the same since she could crawl (IE, staying out of the kitchen). I know it is a stage and she is testing her limits, but maybe if she gets her butt spanked enough, she will know I am not f*ing around and I mean business. It is an all day, everyday thing.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Apr. 17, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (15)
  • spanking is ok but don't do it out of anger then your in the wrong and that's abuse

    Answer by mamawilbur at 12:34 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • stand firm dear momma. . . it might be a stage but if you falter with boundaries now she will keep on. I really must implore you not to spank as it may only prove to her a new limit to test and push. But if it must be done it must be done. . . you need to show her who is boss. Time outs are my fav for this, but there are times when a simple time out is not enough. Keep strong.

    Answer by Kirs at 12:36 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Spanking & psychical abuse did nothing but make me respect my father LESS.

    Answer by kazmia at 1:30 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • She may need to see a therapist to help you and her deal with things.


    Answer by sweetangie79 at 2:14 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • We used to take away THE most imortant thing to the kids and it worked for us. And it wasn't always a toy. My youngest LOVED to watch the garbage truck and I got a lot of miles out of saying he would not be allowed to watch it. Each child has that one or two things that they just can not live without. Make sure she is getting enough positive one on one time with you and your SO too. Plus praise when she does things right. I also made my kids my big helper with all sorts of things around the house.... putting pics in photo albums, planting flowers outside, loading the dryer and dishwasher, all sorts of stuff. We did a lot together and it helped them feel important. And don't forget the hugs and kisses! I wish you all the best.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:25 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • spanking worked fine on me when i was little, did fine for dh when he was little and we are using it with ds, and he listens good if he knows he'll get spanked if he doesnt. and btw, we have respect for our parents who deserve it and we arnt in therapy or had any "issues" from it.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 11:27 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Spanking is not the same as physical abuse, when done properly. As PP#1 stated, its best to do it when not angry at child. I feared and respected my father MORE because of the spankings he dealt. I didn't want that kind of punishment, so I did my best to behave. No, he never abused me or my brothers, but it was definitely NOT a punishment to forget quickly, either.

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 11:30 AM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • She's 4. Why don't you try to see if you can out smart her rather than beat her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Why does she have to stay out of the kitchen? So much lerning and bonding can happen in the kitchen.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:11 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • @tootoobusy. It started when she was a baby because the oven in our place (electric) gets really hot on the outside and we didn't want her to get burned. It is also a really small kitchen (2 adults can't be in there at the same time and we can't open the dishwasher door and oven door at the same time cause it is so small). We decided to keep that boundery. So, if we are baking anything, we do it in the dining room and then I put it in the oven.

    We also have a behavioral therapist for her and she has seen us try to discipline her and she keeps telling us that she is so stubborn and tries to come up with a new approach. But nothing has been successful.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:47 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

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