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Advice please!

I have a 5 month old that constantly wants to be held. I try not to pick her up every time she whines a little, but she goes to my mom's a lot (where my aunt also stays) and they pick her up and hold her every second of the day. So when we're at home alone I can't ever get anything done because she is screaming to be held. I lay her on her play mat and try and get her to play, but she just doesn't go for it. What should I do?

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Asked by nikkimcnemar at 12:19 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • How is she in a swing or bouncie chair?
    At that age, my kids wanted to be held alot too, and it was really frustrating to not be able to get things done. I would up saving everything for naptime and going super-speed. I also "wore" the kids alot in a front pack. I cold actually get mopping, vaccuming, laundry, dishes done that way!
    It goes by REALLY fast, and I know it is hard right now, but tomorrow your baby will be sooo engrossed in playing that your hugs might even get denied!

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Let your family know that you are trying to get her to play independently. Since it sounds like she is in their care a lot you probably won't get her to play by herself if she never has to over there. It's got to be a joint effort. Baies really do need to learn how to occupy themselves so it will be as much for your LO as you.

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 12:26 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • When mine was that age i had the same problem with him. Have you considered asking your mother and aunt to help you out and try to break her of that. You cant do it by yourself if you have other people who run to and scoop her up everytime she whines! - You can just let them know that it is hindering your ability to do things you need to do. Also you may come to the point where you may just have to let her cry it out. If its your first baby it might be a little hard for you to do... But other people have to realize they shouldnt be holding her 24/7 ... it will make the process a lot less stressful on you
    ImaginationMama had a great idea with the front pouch! They are a life saver, keeps both hands free and your little one thinking she is being held... you can get things accomplished. Also i have a "Jump-A-roo" and a swing that saved some tears as well

    Answer by JennaG05 at 12:37 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Try putting her in a bouncer or entertainment saucer and let her watch you work and stop every once in awhile to play a bit. or put her in a carrier and take her with you while you do things, I had to do that with my DD, it took awhile but she got used to it and her brother was good at entertaining her at that age.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 1:18 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • she has a bouncer that i put her in but she screams in that too. i like the pouch idea. thanks guys so much!!

    Comment by nikkimcnemar (original poster) at 1:43 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • the best thing is not to allow her go to ur mum for now until she get used to u not holdin her. it may seems difficult at first but after like 3-4days she get used to it and then problem solves.

    Answer by blair16 at 2:43 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Wanting to be held is NORMAL. Do it! She doesn't know that she's not gonna get eaten when you put her down. WAY too early to be looking for the independence... what you're doing actually will encourage her to be clingier as she gets older.

    Pick her up. You CANNOT hurt her by doing so. NOT doing so can cause more serious problems. Google "Harvard cry it out" for some hair-raising info.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:47 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

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