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I so tired of my husband not wanting to go out and do something as a family. what to do?

He claims that he has alot to do but all I see him do is read the paper and watch tv. I on't see that as having so much to do. This really is making me very mad. And I just can't deal with this any more. The other day my kids wanted to go to the zoo. But he said he had lots to do . But I didn't see him doing a thing but lounge around. I do take the kids out myself. But theywould like to go out with their dad too. some time in their lives.help.

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 1:54 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I have that problem to It's so heart breaking. He never realizes that I just get up and go with the kids. Then we come back home and brag about how much fun we had. All he says Is did you spend any money? How much did you spend? I tell him if he wanted to know that he should have came with us. I think ladies who's husband get down on the ground and play with their children are lucky ladies. I love to see a guy get involve with their families. They are more attractive in my eye then a man who ignores their children. The hurtful thing is your husband probably doesn't realize this but his children will (probably) not look up to him when it comes giving advise. He's pushing them away. He's showing he doesn't care....He needs to get involve and show sometime of invovlement.


    Good luck My heart is out there for you. Believe me I'm going through the same thing - it's hurtful

    bmwlover

    Answer by bmwlover at 1:59 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Sounds like my husband. And when he does go somewhere he ends up turning into Mr. Grumpy Gills and spoiling the day.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 2:18 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Talk with him about how he'd like the kids to look back at their lives when they're grown. Ask him if he thinks the kids will say he was involved or not. He may be selfish, but he may also not realize he's even being that way. We get so wrapped up in our daily lives and routines that we forget sometimes to be silly and have fun with our kids.
    Renee3K

    Answer by Renee3K at 1:57 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Sorry momma
    All you an do is remind him that they won't be little forever and he'll regret all these missed opportunities.
    I sometimes have this problem and if I force him to come with us his misery infects us all so sometimes it is better to leave DH at home. Don't you wish we could make them *want* to come just for the fun of it?
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 2:00 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • I would just make plans of your own. I was in this situation myself and I would make plans on my own. It's the kids that suffer so don't make them. Just go. It sucks to do it by yourself when you have a partner but you can only control your actions. I wish you the best.
    cuteness13983

    Answer by cuteness13983 at 2:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Go out without him. You cant force him to join you. If youve tried talking to him, begging him and threatening him to go out as a family and he still wont. Just go out without him.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 1:55 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Get the admission tickets and show them to him and tell him that he has to take the family to the zoo. I don't know if his reaction would be different if he sees the tickets.
    MMXI

    Answer by MMXI at 2:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Maybe if you approach the subject a bit differently, ask him to 'make' the plans (set the date and time, choose the event) even if he choses something a lil far off (such as next month) thank him and show him that you and the kids are really looking forward to the event. If your kids are young have them start crossing days off the calander or something of the like. Show him that you're invested in that 'family time' together and that his presence is TRULY important. If that doesnt work, maybe when things are settled and you're not already in the discussion of family time, you could ask him if there is anything specific you could do to make family time more enjoyable or a priority for him...i'm certianly not an expert in the situation...but i hope my insight may have helped a lil...good luck to you and your family :)
    sbenbenek

    Answer by sbenbenek at 2:02 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • tell him that when he dies, it won't be the things he did that he'll regret...it will be the things he didn't do that he's going to regret....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:03 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • You should have a long talk with him about how you feel about it and how time flys and soon the kids will be adults out of the house! If he still does not seem to care then I say just take your kids out without him. My uncle is going through the same thing his girlfriend never really liked kids but they were together for 20 years now and they have a 9 year old and a 4 year old. Well he takes them everywhere without her. Zoo, theme parks, and flea markets. It is really sad that sometimes one parent just does not want to get involved.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 2:08 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

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