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2 Bumps

What if your man was so inconsiderate?

How would you handle having a great man but he never buys me a gift for any occasion. Todays our anniversary and he knew about and didn't even get a card or say happy anniversary, it really hurts my feelings'''

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I know it stings. I have been living with it for a long time. But I have learned it hurts more to have them do it because I am hoping for it. If it isn't from his heart then I don't want it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Hmmm I don't know....Does he buy you gifts "just because"? Is he kind of a stingy person when it comes to spending money on others?

    I guess I would talk to him about how that made me feel and why it was important to me to receive gifts on those occasions...good luck mama
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 4:00 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • I would say it is probably how he was brought up. If a man grows up with no example of how to please his wife with such things, then he is not apt to ever really get its importance, unless you as his wife determine to teach him that it is important. The other question would be if he used to buy you things and could never please you, and he just quit trying. I've also known that to happen. Either way, I think the future of this is in your hands.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:00 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • I would ask him why and decide if I can live without gifts and little shows of love or maybe looking to the bigger picture?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • I've been married almost 23 years, and we stopped exchanging gifts and cards years ago. The reason we did was financial,but we just never got back into the habit. We usually do something for the both of us (buy something we need for the house, take a short trip), or just stay home,and enjoy each other. Gifts and cards are just outside shows, what counts is how he treats you,and feels about you deep down inside. My DH is one of the hardest working, most honest, dependable men I've ever met. He doesn't give me cards, flowers, or gifts, but what he does give me is a man who comes home every evening after work, the security that I always know where he is, and can trust when he tells me where he'll be and who he'll be with. He gives me unconditional love, and cares for me, since my health is not all that great, despite the fact I can't always reciprocate his kindness.
    cbk_mom3

    Answer by cbk_mom3 at 4:04 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • May ask.

    Did he buy you gifts for special occasions before you were married?
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:59 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • You tell him how you feel but there isn't anything else you can do.
    My husband hasn't bought me anything in years. We've been together for almost 12 years, married for 11 of them. I don't get gifts for birthdays, Christmas, our anniversary, Valentines (which I don't care about) or Mother's Day...from anyone. My birthday was in December and the only people that wished me a happy birthday were my facebook friends because it pops up to tell them. My husband didn't call me from work or say anything when he got home. He didn't even mention it until 3 days later when he decided he wanted to take me to lunch. He's bought me flowers once in our whole relationship. I can't remember the last gift he gave me. Cards are out of the question which also means I get nothing from the kids because he won't help them get me anything.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:04 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • There is a reason I asked the question.. Bear with me..lo

    If he has never been one to give you gifts on special occasions/special occasions do not seem to be a big del to him.. Then that is a pattern of behavior that you are aware of. That pattern has been set for a reason. The pattern will not change unless HE chooses for it to. You are seeing right now, that unless he chooses to change, this is who he is and this is how things will be in regards to this area. The only to even begin to make him see this pattern and see how it makes you feel/affects you is to flat out ask him why he is this way. Why he doesn't make a big deal out of special occasions, even if it is just to do it for you because you like to celebrate them. Many people (male and female) really aren't into doing things for special occasions, however some do choose to try to do things even if it is just solely for their partners pleasure/enjoyment.
    \
    Cont.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:14 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • A lot of people don't recognize anniversaries or holidays. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. I guess he thinks he shows his love 365 days of the year and doesn't feel the need to show it just one day a year giving you a gift. Maybe he thinks he and what he brings to the relationship is gift enough.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:21 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Its not a wedding we aren't married' its our 1 year anniversary but in this one year i got a gift at christmas , that i had to pick out, none at my bday and at night on valentines after I gave him his. Today I waited all morning and he didnt say anything and i said "seriously u dont have anything to say to me?" then he said happy anniversary. And then my DD asked to see the cake I bought for today and I said not that you deserve it, I didnt even get a card then he says he should go out then huh? its like i donjt mean anything to him i have to force him to show any sentiment' i just have never been with anyone like that he's loving but when it comes to holidays he ignores them''''
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:05 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

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