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What to do or not to do?

Well very looong story short my brother is about to marry a psychotic, family (even her own) hating, dramatic, disrespectful girl. Everyone has done very well staying civil, since we are a very close family no one wants to create a wedge. If left up to this woman there will definitely be a wedge. So anyway last night my dh, me, and our kids were visiting my mom's for dinner. After dinner somehow she (the fiance) ends up in a heated conversation with my mom about my brother's financial issues from when he used to work for my parents' company.(At this time the two of them were NOT even together) The conversation went from my mom "venting" about the situation to the fiance taking it totally personal, yelling and becoming VERY disrespectful with my mom. For the kids and anyone in ear's shot's sake i intervened just to ask my mom to stop venting to someone who obviously doesn't want to hear it and is becoming disrespectful because of it. Well of course my intervention did not seem to change anything other than the fiance wanting to argue with me. I just calmly told her that im not going to argue with her but there is no need to get nasty because someone is VENTING to you. Its not an attack you werent even around when this situation happened so how about everyone just lets it go its between him(brother) and his parents. Well brother and fiance left with attitude, however this morning he did call and apologize to my mom. All this whole incident has done is bring to light just one of the million reasons we all wish he wouldn't marry her. I know its his decision and not my business, but having been thru a divorce due to simply marrying the wrong person i'd hate to seem him go thru the same things. Is this something i should or shouldn't have my own seperate talk with my brother about or do i just fake smile as i am one of HER bridesmaids?

 
Genice6

Asked by Genice6 at 5:56 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • It never hurts to talk to your brother. Do not be afraid to let him know your true feelings. Maybe you could pursuade him to put off the wedding for awhile. ( like this lifetime) If not, atleast you were honest and did what you could to get your perspective to him. No matter what happens, life has a way of working out. I know you want to protect him from her. All you can do is to be there for him and if necessary kick her butt whenever necessary. :-) We never know why things happen the way they do, maybe you will be the person who helps straighten out this girl ( and her character defect) and give her the role model sister she never had. Good luck. Keep the humor and enjoy what you can.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 8:06 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Good luck on this. My son married a psychotic and he hasn't spoken to anyone in the family since. She gives him a hard time if he even tries so he just doesn't bother. If you are a bridesmaid she will see it as you are best buds then when you speak your mind she'll say you attacked her. It's a no win situation no matter what you do. These Narcisisstic sociopaths should be in cages. They find good men like prey and devour their soul (or so it seems). He'll be miserable the rest of his days with her. My son divorced his but she still won't go away! She tells people the divorce "didn't count" bc she didn't want it. lol These people are insane imho
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Yep she even made sure to trap him with a baby to ensure her survival as "family" lol
    Genice6

    Comment by Genice6 (original poster) at 6:05 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • i am someone who likes to help and has been through a lot too. And something i have learned, is that the best way to help someone in your situation is just to be as nice and supportive as you can. in the end, if you try to get them to separate, it will drive them closer together, but if you are supportive he will see you as the sister who stood beside him through it all. note that i didnt say you had to lie. If he asks you honestly be nice and honest and state that this is your opinion. be clear that this is how you feel and state the reasons why IF HE ASKS. bc the truth is that this is only your opinion, and in the end he has to make his own decisions and live his own life to learn anything from it. i wish you luck, being supportive and silent is definately a hard thing to do
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 8:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Well even if you have a heart to heart with your brother it will do NO good his mind is made up and he loves her....look at the picture he stood by while his fiance argued with his mom and he did nothing but leave with her so that tells you right now who is more important. He will just have to find out the hard way and as we say go to the school of hard knocks.....
    It's up to you if you want to be in the Wedding or not, your be damed if you do or damed if you don't either way you loose and she will keep him from you guys so get ready for that too....Sorry she is going to be in your family....I have 2 in mine
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

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