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Should my sons bio father sign his rights over

My sons father hasnt seen him in a year and before that he only seen him when it was convenient for him. He is now married and expecting another child. He calls me 2 or 3 times a day asking to sign his rights over because hes tired of paying child support. I only want whats best for my son. Im also married and my husband would love to adopt my son but were both just really unsure what affect all this will have on the child. He is what is important. Part of me feels if he feels that way let him he dont deserve my kid. Then a part of me feels he made this child if he doesnt want to be in his life thats fine but if nothing else financially he should be responsible. You dont go around having kids and not taking care of them...with that being said I also feel like if my current husband whos been the primary dad since he was a year old does all the daddy stuff school sports sickness why not let him adopt our child and give my child a chance to have a real family....Theres just so many opinions and honestly we just dont want our child hurt or damaged in any way...so Im screaming for help!
Im gona fill everyone in on the whole story...Bio father and i split when our son was 10 months old. He would come around every other weekend unless he had something to do...From time to time on his weekends id pop up at his house and catch things i didnt like random girls and guys spending the night drugs drinking and every time i gave chance after chance after chance...hed bring him home nasty with diapers full of poop to the point his butt would be raw. later on bio father found a girl i actually like things did a 360 which tells me it was all her. they split and bio father meets new girl who is now wife. things went back down. she drank and smoked around our child. drank and drove with my child and asked my son who at the time was 4 if he wanted some wine. would keep him out till 2 in the morning at the bowling ally. I just finally put my foot down and said he couldnt see him anymore. never fought me on it. when i told bio dad about her offering him wine his dads answer to that was our son is F-ing lying. He was 4 i hardly believe he could make that up...in the process of all this the girl friend is constantly posting things on facebook about it and me and basically antagonizing the whole situation like its a game. I told bio dad he could see our son alone he did once. I guess she put her foot down on that. 4 months of not seeing our son she pops up pregnant and they get married and he all of a sudden wants to sign his rights over. and now for the last 9 months i get my phone and my work phone blown up with wheres my paper work .... so tech its my decision hes walked away but based on his choices. Do you still think its best...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (2)
  • Definitely. Get rid of the crappy daddy and give him a sprakly one! The only reason to keep biodad around is to make him pay you money for your kid. And if you keep him in the picture, you also get crazy wife and their kid too. I'd just cut them out and move on. If your son really wants to know his father later on, he can still do that. Until then, i think he at least deserves a daddy!
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 7:12 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Chuck the deadbeat dad and let your son have a REAL father- it's obviously the best for him. The bio-dad sounds like am immature a**hole that doesn't deserve to be called a 'father'. Does your son call your husband dad? Who's there when your son is sick, needs a hug, or wakes up crying? Is it his bio-dad or your husband? I have been with my SO since my son was 18 months old (4 now) and as far as he's concerned my SO is his father- not the man who happens to have half his genes.
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 12:01 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

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