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Is this normal? Dont judge please

Im almost 30 weeks preggo and have hated every minute of it. The pain, aches, pressure, extreme gas, vomiting , and the doctor who keeps lying saying things will get better. Has this happend to anyone else. I feel no connection to my child AT ALL so please dont tell me that once shes here it will be okay, because its not going to be. Her kicking and punching hurts like hell its not a joy. I dont look at her as a sickness or a burden, just something im not ready for. I didnt have a choice i was told i had to be a mom, i couldnt make up my own mind on what to do. The pain and the aches is too much t o bear anymore i cant even sleep. One good kick and my dinner comes back up. I dont know what to do because I have no help from my husband and i think my dr is a bastard. I have to be on my feet 5 hours out of 8 when i work and the pain is unbearable in my hips by quitting time.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Pregnancy

Answers (31)
  • im sory your having such a hard time. i dont know what to say because even with the aches and pains and not being able to breathe i honestly enjoyed being pregnant.being a mother is not an easy job and everyone on here can tell you that it has it good times,its bad times, its great times and its rotten times buti honestly would never change a thing and you will realize that one day. if you hate your doctor that bad i would try and find another.sorry i could be no help and sorry you cant enjoy that baby growing inside you.

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:30 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I am so sorry you feel that way, I can say that I felt the same way right up until about 2 weeks ago. I didnt really get to make a decision about whether or not I wanted to have this baby, but now I am glad I am having him. The aches and pains are terrible, they made me feel awful and still when asked why I am so miserable and not enjoying my pregnancy I can honestly answer that its cause I am not. I am 37 weeks right now and cant wait for him to come out......I will still be stressed but the physical pain will be over atleast. Just try not to be too hard on yourself, it only makes you feel worse. Your bond will form with your baby when they arrive...just remember that it is not the little one fault either....... Gl mama.

    Answer by missrayanne at 9:31 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Normal ;o)

    But alas...Trryyy to enjoy this...

    the little kicks....and 35 weeks and miserable..

    but i always smile when i feel her kickin ;o)

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 9:32 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Sounds rough. It would be hard to feel a connection with your especailly since you didnt get a choice. As much as all the pain and kicking hurt like hell seeing that babies face is worth it, to me anyway. Just keep in mind that this baby didnt have a choice either, dont hold it against her because she had nothing to do with it. If you dont like your doc go find a new one you still have time. And tell your husband to stop being an ass and to help you out! GL

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 9:34 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • When your due date gets closer, you will lighten up on yourself and theexcitment will finally set in. Atleast it did fo me. As I said before, just stay strong.......your bond will form just have patience.

    Answer by missrayanne at 9:35 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Its happened before, I've had friends that never wanted kids to start with and they loathed being pregnant too. The symptoms were beyond awful, the hormones, the planning for something to care for a looong time while your own life gets put on the back burner. It is hard to get over it. It sounds like a fairy tale, but when you do actually have the baby the negative feelings WILL go away. Maybe you don't belive it or refuse to, but based on my experience this is what I've seen. Negativity can effect our moods and physical feelings as well. Try to find a way to relax about the pregnancy. GL to you

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I will be honest and tell you that your attitude probably is the Number One cause of the discomfort that you are experiencing. Our minds are very key to the way our bodies react to and handle pregnancy and a lot of other things. Nobody can convince you that having this child is a good thing, unless you want to choose to believe that it is. You did have a choice. You chose to get married and to have sex. Anytime we choose to have sex, we know that pregnancy is a possibility. It sounds like someone did not want you to have an abortion, and you are blaming that person for all your troubles. That kind of thinking leads to a miserable life.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:36 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I just dont know ladies because i have no help from my husband with household chores. Hes not working right now so i have to do everything so the bills get paid. Im in so much pain at night that i cant tolerate it. I have no friends who are considerate enough to throw a baby shower so now i have to do this all on my own and figure out how to buy everything. I was nearly beaten to death by my ex and the previous injury makes this more painfull than expected. I know it is not her fault i just cant handle being in this much discomfort anymore. I cant enjoy something i was never ready for and was on bc to prevent. Being expected to have her and not being given a choice made matters worse.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • i can relate, im 29 weeks and felt the same way until just recently. im a single mom and i hate the fact that my ex doesnt have to do ANYTHING, he doesnt work, doesnt have a car, didnt have to go through any of this with me. my pregnancy was awful in the beginning, started to get better, and not im right back to awful again. i work close to 40 hours a week on my feet as well. i had to move back home with my mom. and i feel more of an inconvience than anything. but really try to believe that it will get better. you are giving life, some little person is going to be calling you mommy, how can you not feel even the slightest bit excited about that?! hopefully you start to feel excited when it gets closer to your due date, if you need to talk more just let me know!

    Answer by walkthisway522 at 9:40 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • All mom's connect with their child at a different rate. Some moms feel it the moment they get the positive test result, some don't connect until baby is a few weeks or months old. I HATED being preggo too. But I was excited to have my baby. Talk to your hubby about how you feel. If he's not helping and not excited then that could be contributing to your problems. Don't hate yourself for not feeling connected yet, but don't rule out that you will feel connected once baby is here. Rent the movie Waitress...I am sure you'll love it.


    Answer by beckcorc at 9:43 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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