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HOW DO YOU TELL HER>?

How do you tell your 3 and a half yr old daughter that her daddy isnt coming home for about a yr? or your 2 yr old little boy?.

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adriana1024

Asked by adriana1024 at 9:30 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 11 (529 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • ? where is he?
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 9:32 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Tie is return to a major event; something like "Daddy will be home two weeks after your birthday", or "Daddy will be back the next time the leaves fall off the trees". Break it down into something she can look forward to, rather than to a stretch of time that will seem impossibly long to her.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 9:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • well this depends.... I'd try not to word it like that. is it prison? visit. call. send mail, photos, coloring book pages. military? same, plus skype.

    get a count down board going. plan a party for when daddy IS coming home. every month let the kiddos pick out 1 item for the party from the dollar store/section. get excited about the home coming. keep them involved.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 9:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Is he working? Show her on a map where he is, tell her what he is doing. Reinforce daily that Daddy loves them (a kiss goodnight from daddy thru you). I assume he will be calling periodically? A wonderful tool.
    brypmom

    Answer by brypmom at 9:36 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • First, I'd check out lots of books on the subject, for y'all to read, and buy the ones you really love. Reading opens up the doors to conversing, learning, healing. Also, your hubby can write notes or have presents for her to open throughout the deployment. You can make a time line to hang in the house, and take down every day (shape or whatever) until the end whereas he comes home.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:42 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Really that depends on where and why and how often he will be in conctact with them. If he is in the military and overseas then I would let them know he is helping to keep people safe and will be home as some one esle suggested by tying it to the seasons or something she would understand like just before christmas etc. If it is prison then that could be more touchy depending on why he is there and how often you may be able to visit.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:42 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • When my DH was in the Air Force and went away,I just told them that he was going to fly somewhere else for a while. And I didn't make it into a big emotional thing...it was matter of fact and no big deal. They knew he had to go and when he came home that everything would be back to normal again. They were just fine about it even when they were very little. He went on a year long remote tour when they were age 5,7 and 8 years old. We managed . He went to fly in different states and countries for 6 to 8weeks at a time too. It will work out fine of you are calm about it.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 10:35 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • be honest when they ask and explain where he is and what he is doing.....if you can video chat , skype that would be great , if not phone calls and email work wonders too.....if you dont make it a big deal they wont see it as a big deal.....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:27 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • i guess im just worried about how shes going to be after a few weeks without him. if hes gone to long in one day shes asking for him. im not going to lie to her but theres also things she doesnt need to know and she wont be able to visit him.
    adriana1024

    Comment by adriana1024 (original poster) at 11:39 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

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