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Step Son has no respect for my son - HELP!!

My 7 year old step son has no respect for my 6 year old son what so ever. If my son gets under his skin he tells him to shut up or calls him stupid, idiot, etc. He constantly thinks things aren't fair with his life and says he really doesn't like my son if someone asks him how they get along. Quick example: They both have to shower - I tell my son to go in my bathroom and ss to go in the boys bathroom. SS went running to his dad that I wasn't being fair because I made him go in regular bathroom. I can't take it anymore!!! Someone else must have gone through this before. Is there any solution?

Answer Question
 
Brande B.

Asked by Brande B. at 10:32 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Are you and dad presenting a united front? That is critical. I remember thinking I hated how my Dad always took my SM's side...but now, I see why. (I was also a moody teenager at the time)
    Beyond that, maybe make a list of rules. (No name calling and having respect for one another being 2 suggested ones) and post it somewhere. Hold everyone (including you and Dad) accountable to them
    MedicMommy

    Answer by MedicMommy at 6:12 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I'd make note of all the things he considers "special" like using your bathroom instead of the regular. Then, along with coming up with a clear set of rules, with a clear set of consequences for breaking the rules (for both boys!) and posting it in a prominent place (as a reminder).... I would also post a chart... so that they get even time on the "special" things. So shower day one, your son in your bathroom, ss in reg.... shower day two, SS in your bathroom, DS in the regular. Thats kind of thing.

    It sounds like he is jealous... and feels that he doesn't quite fit in.... that he has been pushed out. He is 7.... 7 year olds don't think rationally or clearly. Even BIO siblings go through bizarre jealousy..... but its worse for the step kid.... you know?
    Kerfuffle

    Answer by Kerfuffle at 9:39 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I go with kerfuffle and add in that discpline needs to go both ways. If ds is doing something to get under stepds skin... then his attention needs to be called as well. Set up rules and consequences for the WHOLE family and enforce equally.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:57 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I would let your S/O know how you feel then go from there
    iam4you2

    Answer by iam4you2 at 11:53 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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