Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Is there ANYTHING I can do for this poor girl?

Yesterday, my fiancee and I went to a marital class. There were total 7 couples. There was this one couple, the girl had to of been 18 but the was guy 22. The girl is 6 months pregnant. She was extremely quiet the entire time. He spoke FOR her most of the time. The teacher even said "No, I want HER to answer." He was very outspoken and very immature and annoying. But he made a lot of comments that made us worried. He said things like, "She don't complain when the paycheck comes!" (about its HER responsibility to do his laundry) And somehow it came up that she did NOT want kids at all. And he kept saying "well she better cuz we gonna have a ton of kids!!" And what got me and knew this was a huge red flag...he said that they don't hang out with anybody because "that's what creates problems" and that she is "happy" staying home all day and doing the housework and not having a job. And he said that for her. She did not say that. He also said "well the only time we talk is when we're trying to figure out what to watch on tv."

We played the newlywed game. For those that don't know...its when the guys go out of the room and the girls answer questions, they come back and try to figure out our answers. And vice versa. For one, he totally cheated and looked at her answers before we came back. And two, one question was "is it okay for him to go out with his guy friends once a week?" Everyone put yes of course because that is HEALTHY. She shyly said no. And he said "nope! We stay home!" And after he said something really bad like hm..i actually forgot. He suddenly popped in something about it's important to have God in your relationship and to go to church. It didnt have anything ot do with what he was saying. Also, my fiancee and I were outside on break and we overhead the guy saying to her "you know I have to go to work after can just sit in the car." She is pregnant. And it was very HOT out.

Well, at the end gor a game, the teacher, me and this other girl went out in the hall and were talking. And we brought up that couple. Before I even finished my sentence the teacher said YES!! I AM SOOO WORRIED ABOUT THAT GIRL!! The teacher and the girl work for a domestic violence thing and they said there were a million red flags. I said I DEF noticed it all too. I really hope she said something to them. Or something. I know you have to be careful about how you approach people like that because it could be very dangerous for that girl.

I don't know these people except for their names. But I wish I could do something for them!!! :( Or her really. Put the guy in jail ha.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Apr. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Oh I forgot to add......when she answered "wrong" on the newlywed game, he got mad at her.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:01 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • You can't help her unless she wants help. I'm sorry to say that, but that's the truth. Maybe just let her know you are there if she needs to talk or something. Maybe give her your number & say maybe you guys can get together for coffee sometime ? But try not to do it infront of her Dh tho. She might be able to call you whenever he dh is at work or something ?

    Answer by loudnproud87 at 11:03 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Oh wow!  I couldn't have been in that room, I would have told him to shutup.  I would have done the rude eye rolling and sighing everytime he opened his mouth to speak.  Maybe I'm just grouchy tonight, lol.  I'm sorry babe, I don't think there is actually anything that you can do.  Becoming friends with her sounds out because of what he said about not having anyone around.  Just sad.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:04 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • WOW!! Makes you wonder how low her self esteem must be to think she doesn't deserve any better.

    I'll bump, hopefully someone has suggestions.

    Answer by ItsJustMe1017 at 11:04 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Yeah, I actually think I'd give her the number to the Noah Project first. Which the teacher actually gave that out to everyone anyway. This girl has no car, no job, no nothin. She wouldn't be able to go anywhere with me. He like isolates her from everyone.

    I feel so bad for her. I know I can't do anything. I just wish I could.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:05 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Oh boy. Seeing as she's quiet and he seems domineering its gonna be hard for her to leave if he's abusive of any form.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 11:07 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • well you could look at it as a good step that they are at marital support group....just keep hope she shows up every week and try be friending her at the meetings, maybe sleep her your phone # when he's not looking or a quick note stay you will help her any time she needs it because it sounds like she needs friend.....good luck

    Answer by cara124 at 11:22 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • was a one day 8-hr class :(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:25 PM on Apr. 17, 2011

  • Well, I was about to give advice, but if it was a one-day eight-hour class and you won't see her again and don't have her contact information, I don't see how there is anything you can do...

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 12:39 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Try to get her phone number. and ask what time he works. Do not ask this in front of him either. Try to get her a lone in a ladies bathroom. Some men will actually have a bugging devices on there computer, phone , car, purse, and TV.. So be careful what you say.The best thing to do is call an anonymously to the F.B.I. in Washington D.C.They have a abuse line for abused women. This way you do not put your self in danger. Do not say nothing to his friends or co workers. They all stick together. If he is retired this could be a real problem. That is why I say call the F.B.I. and not in the town they live in. The women, kids and pets pay a high price when you rattle his gage. Remember you are not dealing with a mentally stable man.

    Answer by Glo402813 at 1:11 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.