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4 Bumps

Why am I so jealous?!?!?!

When my SO and I got together- he told me he was still friends w/ a few ex girlfriends, and that they were totally platonic friendshis (he's 32 btw), but that he's not the type of guy to cut off friendships (even w/ ex's) for a new gf...I said, fine- I understand...

Flash forward to now; we've been together over a year, our dd is almost 3 (he didn't know about her until she was almost two, LONG story), and we're totally in love- BUT I still get incredibly jealous over stupid things, like his friends that are girls...

It's nothing major, he's NOT scandalous in any way, and I'm even friends with one of them now-- but then I'll see things on facebook, where he or one of them (an ex or someone he once had casual sex w/, but is still friends w/) commented on something "just to say hi"...and it irritates me that he maintains contact, even if it's not often. Oh, mind you, all these women are GORGEOUS...

So is this just me being real insecure??? Or should I care??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Jealousy stems from being insecure. Deep down you feel like he might leave you or that these girls might be better for him or he might cheat. You know him best. TRY not to get worked up over it without just cause. If he's gonna cheat he will and nothing you do can stop it from happening. Try and make friends with these women. That way you will know or get to know them. try and ignore the green eyed monster as it will tear you up inside and make you think all kinds of untrue things.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 9:09 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I would be jealous too. But Insecurity is the worst form of experssion to bring to "this" surface.

    If you suspect something between him and his exes, then you should comfront him in a adult manner.
    Don't, off the bat, accuse him of something, Just tell him that you feel kinda awkward towards his relationships and you think if he were to chill alittle bit, like to, just say "hi" and thats it, then you'll feel awhole lot better.

    "Gorgeous" is just a adjective. You know that it's the way that He's being treated and accepted is what he really wants.
    scottshoney

    Answer by scottshoney at 1:27 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • That would be a big no no in my house.  I wouldn't care what was said a year ago, if I had a problem with it I'd be telling my husband.  Your no longer just a "new" girlfriend and in my opinion to not be put absolutely first would be enough to make anyone jealous.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:27 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Hmmm its a toughy. I maintain friendships with casual partners and ex boyfriends and I expect a guy to understand that I also understand that a guy can be friends with ex's. They may be an ex for a reason BUT a good bit of friends end up being ex's. If its not often and he's not going out alone and being shady about things I would say let it be but if he starts being shady I would start wondering and questioning things.
    acastle2

    Answer by acastle2 at 1:29 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • My husband and I decided that if he was to cut off all contact with ex's then I would too. We both gave up at least one good friend but its been much better for us in the long run.
    CrazyMommy87

    Answer by CrazyMommy87 at 9:06 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • A part of me hates it when he talks to old girl friends, but I don't say anything. I have friends that are guys on facebook and he gets jealous if I'm talking to them. I still do it barely ever but I do talk to them. I figure if he can talk to his girl friends then why can't I talk to my guy friends? It's a two way street in my opinion.
    Mom1127-0125

    Answer by Mom1127-0125 at 9:10 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Ex's are your EX'S for a REASON! I don't believe contact should be maintained with an EX, unless, of course, you have a child with him/her. It's just asking for trouble, females are vindictive, and bitches lol (some, not all btw) Sometimes they will try to make the ''new'' girlfriend jealous, or make her realize ''i had him first'' ..... I think your SO should kick them to the curb, it's going to benefit you BOTH in the long run.
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Thx ladies, if he was even at all sketchy then I'd be more inclined to lean towards the cutting off contact (which he did do w/ the ONE ex who was still telling him she loved him, amidst knowing about our family), but he's not. Its harmless communication in reality- and while it does make me uncomfortable- he was honest from the start. I think its mostly just stupid insecurities I'll have to learn to ignore...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:55 AM on Apr. 18, 2011