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2 Bumps

Married ppl sex question... Worried because now hubby noticed adult content

DH told me today "we never have sex anymore" and my reply was " When I'm in the mood you aren't and when you are I'm not" And we are together 24/7 both trying to find jobs so nobody is cheating I know that much. But we are both on antidepressants and I know that can affect sexual desire.

Anyone familiar with this and can help?
The other day we were starting then it went limp before he got it in, so we called it quits and went about our day :(


Asked by myownhappiness at 3:35 AM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,714 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My sex life sucks right now too...Neither of us are on antidepressants but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be! My DH works all the time and I'm a SAHM, we're both exhausted by the end of the day and whenever one of us wants to have sex, the other is usually too tired so I absolutely know how that feels. Sometimes I grin and bear it just so he doesn't feel like I don't care anymore, and once we start sometimes I can get into it but as a woman I need to get a little more emotionally involved to really enjoy myself and when i'm exhausted I just don't have it in me to do that so sex is....well, blah. My best advice is fake it till you make it because in my experience that sometimes works :p otherwise, as long as you're both talking openly about the fact that you still are committed and open to trying whatever it takes to improve things, just keep your chin up!!!

    Answer by ShainaMay at 3:41 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I recently started an antidepressent and was hoping that side effect wouldn't hit but it did and hard and that was all it did, I didn't realize it until we were 3/4 of the way through doing the deed and the stuff that should have succeeded, I couldn't even feel, so I continued on and Hubby could tell something was wrong and when he was done we talked about it and I actually just got off the phone with the doctor cause that was the only thing the meds were affecting...they were not even doing what they were prescribed to do.
    I would just try and make the effort cause whether or not we want to admit it, the sexual part of the relationship is important. I do know that I want it more than my hubby and when he continuously rejects me it hurts, and I bring it up and tell him and he says it isn't me but after being rejected that much it is hard to believe.

    Answer by Expecting1st at 11:37 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • or masturbate together (thats what we have to do sometimes) and it sometimes leads to sex

    Answer by Liz4Life at 6:03 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I know the stress of trying to find a job as I've been unemployed for over 2 years! However, if I had a partner, I'd take time out of each day to be intimate...even if it's just holding hands or kissing. Stay positive, don't go to bed mad, make some time for together and alone time, try to find a good routine...Good luck! (((HUGS!)))

    Answer by Droyal14u at 4:14 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • There's more to intimacy than just the physical act of sex. As Droyal said take some time each day to kiss, hold hands, and whatever else you prefer. Ask him to talk to his doctor about the ED and see if taking Cialis or some other pill to help with that is right for him. DH is bipolar and one med he was on long ago did that to him. Dh ended up getting samples of Cialis for awhile and that helped. But we couldn't pay the $ for a script. Best thing you can do is make time for you two to do something together you both enjoy.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 6:08 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Stress can be a big factor, and antidepressants can suck the sex drive right out of you for sure. I'd talk to the doc and let him know what's going on with your sex drive and get switched to a different one that doesn't have those side effects(they do have them), then I would try to have a date night, even if it's just a movie on the couch with some popcorn or a romantic dinner at home with no kids present. Good luck!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:57 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I read somewhere that the more sex you have, the more you will want. Idk if this would work for you, but each of you should try masturbating alone or together, get the hormones pumpin' and then go from there! Some antidepressants can cause erectile dysfunction, so google the kind your man is on and see if it is a side effect. Even if you're not in the mood, try spicing things up for him; wear lingere or what not. The main thing is to not get discouraged and keep working on the sexual and intimacy part of your relationship together. Also, get out of the house alone! Go for a walk or play on the swings at the park.

    Answer by Kari727 at 1:10 PM on Apr. 18, 2011