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Complicated, long (or very simple) question.

Context: We are immigrants living in a very rich, predominantly white community that 30 years ago we probably won't even be able to live. My daughter is in class with absolute majority of immigrants and poor behaved Americans in school. There is one family in this school that dad is White American and mom is Russian, their daughter in other 1 grade with majority of rich white Americans in. This mom teaches piano and present herself as an intelligent women. My daughter is the only one from my daughter's class who takes music lessons from this lady (all other students come from other classes of this school).

Situation: At the beginning of the year I invited her daughter to play dates (two) and my daughter's birthday. They came and girls played nicely. She, however, did not invite my daughter back stating that she is very busy with her 20 students and the dad taking care of her. Now another lady told us 'so you are not invited to that girl's birthday?' - this way we learned that she did not invited us.

Question: My daughter likes her music lessons, yet I can see that the progress is very slow. Also the recital coming and she chose very simple songs for my daughter to perform and... took her book away (stating that she needs to read something within the book)- I feel that she want that my daughter will practice only at her house and not at home. To me she tells that my daughter doing great and she is very creative. Yet I see other people who took music lessons with her already finished the book even though they took smaller number of lessons. I feel that my daughter faster advancement is low priority for this teacher- she makes sure to show that my immigrant daughter is LOWER on the level than all her other American students ...
My daughter, though, do not like to change and takes any transitions very hard.

So, should I leave the situation as it is, should i find another teacher together with this one, should I abandon recital (in a very beautiful, elite concert space that very influential American family provided to her)- I feel that the teacher, not directly, but tried to show us that may be we do not belong there ...

sigh...What do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by ganna04 at 5:50 AM on Apr. 18, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,468 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I think its a whole bunch of drama I'd rather just avoid. Find a teacher that will actually teach your DD something and not be an ass.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:59 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • If you feel your daughter isn't progressing like she should be and if you know that your daughter is more advanced then this lady is putting her then after the recietal i would look for another teacher. Or you can always talk to her and tell her what your feeling and see what she has to say.
    My Mom always has taught Piano lessons and i just couldn't seem to pick it up myself, but my brother and sister seemed to get it. It is possible that the other students she has have done alot better, but the only way to find out is to talk to her and find out what is going on.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 6:07 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I think, until the recital, you should go along with long as that is what your daughter wants. After teh recital, find a new teacher, but until then, don't do anything that might embarrass DD. Now, if DD doesn't want to play/learn with her anymore, then stop. However, you can use this as a teaching tool that sometimes things aren't easy, but, especially if you made a commitment, you've got to stick with it

    Answer by MedicMommy at 6:10 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Thanks guys, yes- as SalemWitchChild noticed I feel that the teacher acting as an asshole. jenn4443, I also feel that is not my daughter IS more advanced, rather she could be if the time was not wasted. Yet, MedicMommy is probably right, until recital I am not going to do or tell anything (the point though I feel that she wants me to drop the idea of recital on my own).

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 6:22 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Personally I would keep her in. This is something she needs to learn about, and if you think it is because you are an immigrant then she will have to learn in life some times there are people like this. If she learns to rise above and be better then it would be good for her.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:11 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • No, I think that the teacher extremely scared that her daughter will be seen the way my daughter is at school (the school treats minorities of any kind very poor) and if influential families will see she associated with US at the recital- she might loose the clients (Americans might withdraw their children). Not all white American people at this specific neighborhood like or even tolerate people with accent. So, my idea is that she is very scared either for her daughter or for her business or both.

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 8:18 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • If she's not teaching your daughter well - the job you hired her to do - then it only makes sense to hire a teacher who will do the job correctly. The rest of the drama doesn't feel (to me) like it should add into that decision. Think of it this way, if the drama wasn't there (like this piano teacher didn't even have a daughter), would you be happy with the service for which you are paying? If not, then it's obviously time to move on.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:49 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Dr. Donna, thanks. I agree with you, as you put it the question rather simple. Looking at her as a music teacher ONLY I am not completely satisfied with what she is doing and how she treats my daughter and likely will find her another teacher.

    Comment by ganna04 (original poster) at 8:57 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Find a new teacher

    Answer by iam4you2 at 11:44 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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