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Emotional affair or really just friends?

My hubby has a female friend, who he talks with everyday. He knows that their relationship bothers me, but he keeps telling me I'm being silly. He feels that I am making something out of nothing. Am I being silly? I am upset not by the relationship, but the closeness of the relationship. He talks to her more than me, and he values her opinion more than mine. I honestly feel her friendship means more than our marriage. How do I cope with my feelings? What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Dec. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I would be pissed. End of story. That's not fair to you. My SO was doing the same thing so I just stopped talking to him. He finally got the hint. He may be telling her things that he should be telling you. And who knows how SHE feels.

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 10:48 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I believe that people that are married (men & women) should not have opposite sex friends.  I believe your spouse should be your only opposite sex friend.

    My DH is my man friend. the only one I need.

    No your not being silly. I would make it perfectly clear to him, stop talking to her or our marraige is over. You should be his lady friend not her.


    Answer by louise2 at 10:56 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • i was in this same situation. stop caring. stop talking to him or play his game. start to talk to another guy the same way. maybe something in you changed and he found it in her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I dont believe that you shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex, but you're in a commited relationship ALL of his friends should be your friends too. male or female.

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 10:58 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Girl! Who wouldn't be bothered by this. I think it's only natural to be upset when your man is close to another woman. I think this situation has serious potential to get really ugly. If he's turning to her instead of you for emotional support, I think it's only a matter of time before he ends up turning into something more. I'd make him choose, he or her. I know that seems harsh, but if your upset and he knows it, he should stop the relationship without you telling him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I agree with oliviasmomma09 because he should consider your feelings and how you feel about this woman, explain to him that everyone can have friends and you don't mind him speaking to her but it's worrying you because it seems you are spending alot of time talking and with her. Tell him you don't want to argue over it but want to get one thing straight, have you ever had feelings for her and that will give you all the help you need to find out if he is telling the truth.
    You will be able to tell by his body language and his reaction etc.

    Answer by Mummytomore at 11:01 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • Emotional affair..a friend...whatever...the fact of the matter is that you do not like it...
    You are his should be what is important...
    get your muscles out and tell him how you is sad because you already did that and he did not respect your wishes....good luck....get tough....

    Answer by Dannee at 11:02 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • If it's crossing a line for you, then it's not ok. I am ok with my DH having female friends, but if he was talking to one of them every single day that would be a little much for me. And if I expressed this to him and he blew me off, that would not be ok. You need to decide what kind of an ultimatum you are ready to lay down. I probably would not (personally) lay down "Cut her off or I leave" because I probably wouldn't leave over it. But I would lay down an ultimatum. You are not being silly. He's being an asshole.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:19 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I'm not sure I'd play games as suggested above, that to me sounds like a good way to ruin your marriage fast. I think you need to talk to him, if your bothered enough to end your marriage then there should be no need to ask him to stop talking to her. He should have the sense to do that on his own. If he feels their friendship is more important than your marriage, then face it hun......your better off with out him. Even if nothing is going on, even if you are being silly, thats how you feel and you can't change that and he should respect that. good luck!

    Answer by lovenmy2 at 11:22 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

  • I'd put that boy in check before things get out of hand. I don't think your being silly, I think he's being a selfish jerk.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 AM on Dec. 2, 2008

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