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Situation with my MIL(LONG)

My MIL and I have a generally good relationship- she doesn't do underhanded things behind my back and she doesn't talk bad about me that I know of. My issue is this: She has always bought a lot of things for my children when they were on sale or whatever, and she asks for my two oldest, both girls, to spend the night every weekend. She also takes my boys, separately, one day a week sometimes. She has a walk in closet FULL of clothes for the kids, plus another closet in another room full, plus several of those plastic vats or containers like you can buy at Walmart. The girls each have about 20 pairs of shoes there, and the boys have a couple pairs each. Any time the kids wear anything home, she always wants it back, and they have so much over there that there are TONS of things they didn't even get to wear before they outgrew it. Now, when she comes and gets one of the kids to stay with her or whatever, she will change their clothes out in the parking lot of my apartments. EVERY time. Then she hands the clothes they were wearing back to me and says, "Here, wash these." If they go anywhere with her, she wants time for HER to get them ready, even if I've already put them on nice clothes and they are clean and look nice. I don't know how to take all this. Any opinions? Is this a normal thing?


Asked by lovingmy4babies at 11:17 AM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • I would personally find it to be rude.  So the clothes you had them in aren't good enough?  Maybe I'm just being hormonal but I would be upset.  And to have so many clothes that they aren't wearing them before outgrowing them?  I wouldn't say anything, it's her money that SHE is wasting.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:21 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • That would piss me off no end. That just screams rude to me.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:21 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I wouldn't let her take my kids again until she stopped being such a rude b*tch! I wouldn't tolerate that kind of behavior from my OWN mother, let alone my MIL.

    Answer by Kari727 at 11:28 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I am speechless I just don't know what to say about that other then it is rude

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:29 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I don't think it's rude. Weird? Hell, yes! She's spending her money on them, but doesn't let them wear the stuff other than when they are with her? That's weird. That she is spending time with them and wants to dote on them a little is great, but changing their clothes in the parking lot? I'm wondering if maybe she has some form of OCD. Like, she thinks there are germs from the outside world on their clothes and she doesn't want them in her car/home. I don't know, just a thought. What does your DH say? I don't think you should say anything to her. I think he should, if anything is said at all.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 11:45 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Might be best to sit her down and talk to her. Rationally explain to her that it's upsetting when she does that and that it makes you feel like what you're doing/dressing them in isn't good enough. Maybe she can explain herself. I can't think of any explanation that would excuse her or make me feel better about the situation, but at least you'll have her side of things if she does have an explanation. She sounds like one of those people that just has to be in control all the time. Maybe a reminder that YOU are their mother and not her would be good for both of you. Good luck hun!

    Answer by SpiffySnaps at 11:49 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I think it is pretty obnoxious, but I would let it go. If you all have a fairly good relationship, she obviously loves the kids, and is willing to do for them, let her and bite your tongue. Then call your girlfriends and vent about your crazy MIL LOL

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:31 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Slap in the face much? That's pretty much telling you to your face that you're not clean enough, and the things you buy for your children aren't good enough. I would have to say something to her. Or I would do like her, change them in front of her, hand her the clothes and tell her to wash them.

    Answer by mrsziemann at 3:52 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I just thought I was being overly sensitive! lol I haven't said anything to her about the vats and bins and closets full of clothes- I definitely don't want to sound like I know where she should be spending her own money- that's her business. But it does make me a little upset that she has to change their clothes and 'clean them up' every time I let her take them somewhere!

    Comment by lovingmy4babies (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Jawga- He thinks it's weird too, but we've always thought that it was normal, I guess, but it bugs him as well. It's almost like she thinks we're 'dirty' or something lol- I feel a bit ostracized.

    Comment by lovingmy4babies (original poster) at 11:50 AM on Apr. 18, 2011