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Grandma makes rude comments about my SO

My grandma is a very rude woman to be honest. She hates men altogether. No man is a good one. The only time she really likes a man is when they do something for her like my SO helped fix her printer one day. She's always said he's a good guy, but still makes rude comments about him. I've never really got a long with her besides when I was young like 6 & down. We always butt heads & I can't take her comments anymore. No matter if I say something nice to her about how I don't appreciate the comments or if I get mean about it. She doesn't know any limits. She thinks she has a right to say anything about anyone. My SO is covered in tats & has long hair. He also isn't white which she's made a comment to me about as well. She always super nice to his face, but says these things when he's not around. Its to the point that I'm wanting to cut her out of my life, BUT my son is super close to her. I was raised that if you disrespect my SO, you are disrespecting me. My dad doesn't interact with his side of the family bc they always disrespected my mom. Blood doesn't mean shit to me. I know for a fact he wouldn't let his family do that to me. I've done almost everything I know of. I've sat down & had discussions with her about it and I've blew up on her about it. Nothing makes a difference. He truly is a good guy. He's the best guy I've ever been with. He's best the out of the guys my sister & I have ever been with. She still makes rude comments about my dad & my dad has been w my mom for 20+ I'm at a loss here.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Well one day your DS will be a man, what then? Grandma or not I'd backhand her...lol not really but I'd want to. What a pain in the butt, she should be happy you have a good one who treats you and your son w/respect. I don't really have advice on this one, she's a grumpy old woman.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:05 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • At her age she has formed her opinions and they aren't going to change. You have to decide what you want to do, do you want to put up with it or not? she is who she is and that is sad but it is the truth
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:43 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Some people are just like that. Since you know she makes rude comments about people behind their backs, don't give her more ammunition, and when you are around her keep it as brief as you can and don't say much.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 12:24 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • You do your best to ignore it & that's it. You can't change Grandma. One day, she'll be gone & yes, you will remember the rude stuff but you'll still miss her. My grandma was rude to my friends all the time but I still loved her, despite the fact she wasnt always nice. If she's good to your son that's what's important. Some will probably not agree but really, not everyone in life is nice & sometimes those people are family. WHile its rude of her, in the end, is it really that serious?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I don't surround myself around rude people if I don't have to & thats how my life stays drama free. She's great to my son, but in away, that doesn't mean she has to interact with me or my SO? Yes I will miss her when she's gone & I love her very much, but there's a line that doesn't need to be crossed & just bc she's old & stuck her in ways doesn't give her a right to be rude. I don't tell her anything about my SO. She knows all the good things that I've said before she started to make her rude comments. My SO car got broken into & she assumed it was bc he's into drugs. He's far from into drugs. She said she knows for a fact that its bc he pissed someone off. She claims hes into drugs bc of his appearence. Reality is there's rude people out there, but does mean you have to allow them to be rude to you ? Blood or not ?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:36 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I would just stay away. Let your son go and see her without you and SO.
    TeresaM35

    Answer by TeresaM35 at 12:49 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • grandmaGotta love Grandma, LOL. I would tell SO (and myself) to not take anything she says that is negative personally.Some people just have crappy personalities like that.All kinds of people make the world go round. I know it must be frustrating and irritating.As long as YOU know you have an aesome guy..thats all that matters.I say, love grandma anyway...sounds like your son does..and I wouldnt wamt to take that away from him.Good Luck mama.

    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:56 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Yeah I would NEVER take my son away from her. EVER! I just can't stand her comments. They are SO hurtful & just plain rude. I never believed in the "respect your elders" b.s. I don't care how old you are. You have to EARN respect, you don't get it bc you are old.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:01 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • You want your son exposed to all that negativity? I would limit my contact with her to a very rare family gathering. So hello, kiss her on the cheek and move on to the rest of the family.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 2:31 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Exactly!! I limit how much I talk to her. It just sucks bc right now I'm living with my parents & my grandma is always here. I don't really do anything with her. Honestly, my son is getting to the point that he doesn't really like to hang out with her either. Its like the older he gets the more he realizes she's just a bitter old bitch with no patience. LOL
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:27 PM on Apr. 18, 2011