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I feel like a horrible mom :(

My 3 1/2 year old son was throwing a fit and wasnt listening so i picked him up and put him in time out on the way over to time out he pinched my neck really hard and twisted...leaving a mark, ive been told by alot of my moms when those kind of situations come up do the same back to them so i pinched him back( nothing like he did to me) and told him, this is what it feels like and mommy does not like it he was crying and screaming and i felt so bad after his timeout i looked at his neck and it left a mark!! i feel like a horrible mom now we both have to walk around with marks on our neck mine looking like a bad hicky i just feel so bad :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Things heated up and it happens do not let it get to you. Now you know not to do that again. People make mistakes and we all learn to do better the next time around.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Walk away and calm down. What's done is done, but try to think next time before you act. He is 3, you can't stoop to that level. You are showing him it is right to pinch your neck. You do it too. It's OK, do something fun now like bake brownies.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 1:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Lots of moms use the "pinch back method" same as the bite back method.  I think that your form of discipline at that point didn't work for you, nothing more, nothing less.  No point in feeling bad about it, use it as a learning lesson.  So that form isn't for you.  It's all trial and error. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:10 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Try as hard as you can to let that go and move forward. I know alot of parents say that worked for them, but now you know not to listen to that. It doesn't work . . . in fact, to most of us, it makes us feel so bad that it is worse alltogether. Trust your instincts.

    Give yourself and your child alot of love today. :)
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:10 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I know but why have so many parents and doctors tell me that its okay to do what they do to you to show them how it feels and in hopes they dont do it again?! this it the first time ive done an "eye for an eye" thing and i will never do it again!! we will go out and do something fun today but i just feel like crying while he has long forgotten about it i just feel guilty :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I agree with MrsHouston.Parenting is a lot of trial and error.Youre not a horrible mom.Its just not the discpline method made for you.Hugs mama.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Kids have a way of making us feel like that even at that age :) My 6 yo started crying in the shower one day b/c I got on him for not washing his hair. I asked why he was crying, he said b/c you yelled at me! I felt awful. It happens, he's fine so try to be fine too :)
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:16 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • hugs

    wowguildmomma

    Answer by wowguildmomma at 1:17 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Oh mama . . . . really . ..hugs . . . we just try to do our best. :)

    There is a ton of bad parenting advice out there. Much of it is under widepread use, so we think it has merit. Sometimes parents like to brag about how "hard" they are. This is the same type of thing as when a teenage boy gets into a fight and he talks about the inmcident to prove how tough he is. We need to block it out.

    Pediatricians and other medical doctors are experts in physiology and biology, not psychology. I think they only have about a semester, max, in psych. So, they give advice, but are often misinformed because it is not their field. We have to listen with a grain of salt when it comes to psych advice from a medical expert . . . .

    Trust your gut. You are the mama, and you know, in your heart, what is best for you and baby. You are the expert there.

    Try to have some fun today. . .

    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:19 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • People tell you it's ok, because it's ok for them. If it's not for you and makes you feel guilty, then don't use that method. You could explain to your child that it hurts you, rather than hurting him back.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:23 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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