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2 Bumps

While knowing that you are a little over weight, you have not seen your grandmother for a little over than 10 years. You take a vacation and fly across the states to see her, meanwhile everyday she has not said anything positive about you while you are there, and all she says is things about your weight. How would you approach her or would you not?

Some of the things she says are:

They don’t have your size,
You need to lose that stomach,
Oh you’re eating again,
You never use to be that big.

Answer Question
 
Chunky_Dynamic

Asked by Chunky_Dynamic at 2:23 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (547 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Just remember she loves you. Extra weight is one of the biggest risk factors you can have for your health. Might I dare say it's just as bad if not worse than smoking. Some people just have a hard time saying they want to see you healthy and it comes off as rude and offensive.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 2:27 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I would say

    "I know I'm not a skinny binny, you really don't have to keep bringing it up". Of course, i would say it in a nice tone...maybe with a hint of sarcasm in there.

    Old people are that way though, take it with a grain of salt...let it roll off your back. My mom is the queen at pointing out to people that they have gained weight. The ones that know her just roll their eyes & say something like "Gee, thanks for the reminder".

    You could be honest with her & say "grandma, you know it hurts my feelings when you bring up my weight" You ahave to say
    SOMETHING if you really want her to quit. I don't think it's rude to speak your mind on this one, regardless that she is your elder family member.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:28 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I would smile and say weight loss does not happen overnight or hug her and say thanks for your concern.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:30 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Mrs. scoop, you're mis-informed. You certainly CAN be overweight & healthy. Just because someone is overweight, does not meant they don't exercise or eat well. My yoga instructor is a bit over weight. She runs marathons & does yoga daily. She is just a heavy lady that likes to eat. She is far from un-healthy. Here is a little info for you, so you won't go around thinking all fat people are slowly killing themselves.

    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1066937,00.html
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 2:31 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Sounds just like my grandmother used to say to me. Just ignore her. There's not one thing you can say to her that will change her one iota. Just be thankful that you don't have to be around her all the time!!!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:33 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I think it depends on the kind of relationship you have with her. My grandmother can be very nasty. Right now she hasn't talked to me in 5 months because I had the audacity to be upset when she told family members I was pregnant... when she knew I had already miscarried. Imagine people calling me up congratulating me when I was crying my eyes out...on Christmas.

    She made comments to me about my weight, my parenting, my looks, my career choice, and even dating outside of my race. I chose to ignore all of that because I had good memories of her as a child. She was the quintessential cookie-baking grandma. But after telling everyone I was pregnant just so she had some news to share at her party, even though she knew I was grieving over the loss of the baby... well... I could no longer forgive her.

    So.. again, it comes down to what kind of relationship you have with her. If it's overall positive, then ignore.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 2:49 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I would of just told her while I was eating she was turning mean. Sometimes being straight to the point and letting another know you are being hurt by their words can help a situation. Never did with my mother, but I've seen other people do well with it.
    TwinkleLites

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 2:51 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • People who love us tend to think (or not think before they speak) that they are helping when they point out our imperfections. My husband would make comments that were not necessary. I finally had to let him know that his comments were not helping the situation. It is tough, because we know they love us and want the best for us, we try to lose the weight and quite honestly, it's a lot more fun to put in on than it is to take it off. We have to be the ones to do the work of getting it off and face it - it's hard! I have made it a point to set healthy boundaries. My husband now knows that making useless comments is not the way. Not asking me to make him desserts or asking me to buy unhealthy snakes is of much more value! Eating 3 small meals and 2 healthy snakes a day makes you feel like you are eating all the time, but also helps you lose weight - food for thought! Love yourself - no matter what!
    mrslabel

    Answer by mrslabel at 2:59 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • My grandma was old school like that, too. She would always comment on whether or not people lost or gained weight. It was all very factual to her - much like a haircut or wearing glasses as opposed to contacts. They come from an era where it wasnt quite as common to be overweight. Honestly? I would just ignore it. If you're genuinely hurt by her remarks, then yeah, I guess you just need to be honest and tell her it hurts your feelings. I don't see why she would continue to bring it up in that manner if she *knew* she was hurting your feelings....
    Molly4630

    Answer by Molly4630 at 3:05 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Just smile and say okay once I get back home. =]
    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 12:30 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

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