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2 Bumps

I really need advice please !!! (TMI)

My husband went to the doctor this morning for his neck his neck has been hurting for 8 months and nothing he took has helped him so he went to see a specialist today and he left around 9;10 am his appointment was at 10 they told him to be there 30 minutes early to fill out paper work since it was his first time going there and before he left he told me to give him oral sex so i did and then he left and he came back around 11 i had told him to tell me what they tell him and to text me when hes on his way home and he didnt text him he just came home i told him how come you didnt text me and he said i just wanted to hurry up and get home and around 1 pm he told me get my clothes ready for work cus he was gonna go in at 2 so i did and as he was taking off his shorts to get ready for work i saw his boxer and his boxers were all ripped in the front where the hole is at and it wasnt like that when i gave him oral so i smelled his **** and it smelled like ***** and i havent gave him any for his **** to be smelling like that and i confronted him and ive cofronted him plenty of times so now when i confront him he gets mad and says he isnt doing anything there isnt any evidence in his phone or in his pockets like text messages and numbers cus of course you can easily delete them and throw them away and there isnt any random numbers in his phone and i doubt at the doctors office they made him take off his pants i dont know im really worried that hes doing something behind my back and as he was getting ready he was mad and making me get everything he needed for work ready and i didnt want too so he said you can never do shit for me REALLY ? i just iron your clothes and clean and wash clothes and i dont do shit for him that pissed me off and i recently told him to stop smoking cigarettes cus im pregnant and the smell gets to me cus its always on his clothes and it just smells and before he left he said fuck not smoking im gonna smoke cus you stress me out so much i dont know im just hurt so much i dont know what to do i love him and i wanna be with him but its just hurts to know that he might be cheating and that hes not gonna respect what i say when i told him not to smoke if he really loved me like he says he does he wouldnt smoke and he wouldnt be cheating .ladies please i really need advice im so hurt right now :'(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • I don't know about the cheating, but I know you can't just tell somebody to stop smoking and expect them to do it. It's a very hard habit to break and he needs to want it.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:54 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Um sounds like big boy needs to get his own ass ready for work! What did he say happened to his shorts? Jeez, he TOLD you to give him head? WTF?! Don't do it, can you just not give it up to him on demand? There is such a thing as marital rape ya know! Has he always been like this, or is this new, this attitude of his?
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 2:56 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Wow! I think that's the longst run-on sentence I have EVER seen!! Sounds like you 2 have several issues you need to work through. But, you're going to have to talk to him more rationally than you type. If you yammer at him non-stop, he will simply shut you out.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 2:59 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I'm sorry but I don't believe we are here for a grammar lesson.

    Try to talk through things with your husband, the truth is all that matters. I understand you love him but, you must think about whats best for your unborn child...
    RemiElise

    Answer by RemiElise at 3:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Gut feelings are rarely wrong. Everyone I have know that suspecting someone cheating, was. Sorry!!!
    TwinkleLites

    Answer by TwinkleLites at 3:07 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • You said you're pregnant. Women get very hormonal and sensitive and jump to conclusions when they are pregnant. He prob didn't text you because he just wanted to get home. I'm sure other people have forgotten to text others back right? You are in a very vulnerable position right now because you're pregnant. i've felt the same way and many other women have as well when pregnant. lol Just because he has sweaty balls and prob cum smells on him is probably from the oral sex you gave him right before he left. Relaxxxx. If someone was asking you all the time if you were cheating on them u'd get annoyed and stressed as well right? Put urself in other people's shoes and u might become more empathetic. Think about it. start off with a clean slate and make amends. Hope everything works out well.
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 3:08 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I think the way he tells you to get his clothes ready and tells you to do sexual favors is abusive. What ever happened to communicating and caring for eachother? he sounds like a jerk. I dont know if he is cheating but I would be more concerned with the way he treats you. Maybe you should let the other woman have him and get out and take care of yourself. It is better to be alone than live with a jerk!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:09 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I wasn't trying to give a "grammar lesson". I was trying to lighten the mood a bit and maybe bring a bit of a smile to the OP since she is feeling so stressed. Sorry if you don't have a sense of humor.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 3:22 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • you can buy a type of GPS system that helps you track where he is. A lot of investigators use it for cheating couples. Look into it.

    They also have this thing for your phone, so far...you can only legally use it for your own teens to track them & see what's going on, in case they are "sexting" or whatever. But, it's an application that you can add to his cell phone without him ever knowing about it. You'll get all his texts sent to your email & you can even track where he is. He won't know it's happening at all.

    I know people use it for teens, but private investigators are allowed to use them for cheating couples if you hire one.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:26 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Also,

    You husband sounds like a chauvinistic asshole....
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:26 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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