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I REALLY wanted to get along with my Mil but it just hasnt happened yet

she had a rough child hood. she witnessed a shooting at the age 8 and her sister comitted sucuide. Maybe certain people are uncable of Compassion bc of shit that happened to them??

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Not true. I had a pretty bad childhood, my dad killed himself, he was a drunk and a drug dealer, we lived in motels... It was horrible. I would like to think that those things made me stronger, made me better. I grew and learned from those things....

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 4:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Don't know any details but just keep being nice to her. She may have a wall up to protect herself from being hurt.

    Answer by elizabr at 4:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Also, it's her loss. Be poliet, but don't go out of your way. If she wants to be nice,or friends with you, then it's up to her...

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 4:14 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • What happens to us as children affects our life forever!

    Answer by meooma at 4:16 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I also had a bad childhood and I am easy to get along with. I don't blame my past for who I am and the things I d wrong.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:18 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Mother in law relationships can be difficult for anyone. I don't know your MIL...or you, or the kinds of problems that you are having, but I think it's wonderful that you've wanted to have a good relationship. It does take two. My MIL has never wanted anything to do with me. I was divorced and had a child when I met my husband...her son. I really wanted to have a good relationship, but she has pretty much cut us out of her life. I thought eventually she would come around, after all, he's her son, and we have her only grandchildren. We've been married for 22 years, she lives nearby, and she has nothing to do with us. If she ran into our boys on the street, she wouldn't know they were her grandsons. I think its sad, but you can't force other people to build a relationship. Remain open and maybe she'll come around.

    My sons are 19, 21 & 28...I truly want to have a good relationships with their wives.

    Best Wishes.

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:18 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • The one thing you need to remember is that Moms and Sons have a unique relationship and she most likely sees you as someone who has come between you and her son. Love her as best you can, but don't let her walk all over you either. It's a fine line. I happen to be blessed with an awesome daughter-in-law. We had a "learning" curve. I had never been a mother-in-law before, I didn't really know how I was supposed to act. I made some mistakes and when I did, I apologized. My own mother-in-law was rather cold and for a long time, I felt like she held me at arms length. I finally figured out that it wasn't me, it was just the way she was. Some people think that if they don't let anyone get close, then they won't get hurt. The thing is, just treat her the way you want her to treat you, include her in family activities and such. She'll either come around or she won't. Things have a way of working out.

    Answer by mrslabel at 4:37 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • just be civil, and if she doesnt come around thats her loss.

    Answer by Leelee1008 at 10:16 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Thats such a BULL SHIT excuse!! Your hair would curl if you knew what I went through when I was a kid and younger. Im not a nut bag, or un-compassionate. People make all kinds of excuses for their bad behavior and it just dosnt fly with me. GET OVER your past! it's GONE. and stop saying others act a certain way because of how they were brought up. Its BULL SHIT! As an adult you are the only one responsible for your own thoughts, words and actions in life. You choose to be mean, uncaring, unfriendly or whatever. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work if thats how she explains her behavior. She needs therapy. If she's that bad? AVOID her. When she asks why tell her the truth.

    Answer by vbruno at 10:16 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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