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Am I wrong? Needing an opinion please. :)

I am afraid to drive in certain freeways and congested areas around airports or if its dark and stormy. I was caught one night driving in a storm and it was dark. I couldn't see a thing. Now typically I'm afraid to drive but its not so much that it prevents me from going where I want to go. This night something different happened. I think I may have been on the verge of a panic attack. My heart was thumping so hard I swear it was going to come out of my chest. my leg started jumping/shaking to where I could barely keep my foot on the pedal. My fingers were tingly and going numb and everything around me started to actually go silent on me. I tried to calm myself but it wasn't working. I had my 5 year old in the back seat and I was scared to death for her safety so I pulled off the nearest exit and didn't get back on the road untill an hour later. It took me that long to calm down. This freaked me out. Now I don't mind driving on familiar roads but I'm scared to get on any major roads mainly because I think if something does scare me to the point of a panic attack(if thats even what it was) that it is very unsafe for me to be on the road. Hubby is in the military and has to go tdy. He wants me to take him to the airport. They will pay him to take a cab but he would rather not spend that. Its extra cash we could use. I explained to him my fears and what happened that one particular time. I told him I don't feel its safe for me to be on the road untill I get that figured out. He was irritated at first but did get someone else he worked with to give him a ride. His ride called today and said he couldn't make it. Hubby now wants me to drive him there rather than pay for a cab and then have the military reimburse us for that. Typically I know I shouldn't be afraid to do this but in that state ( the panic attack state, I'll call it....even though i'm not sure it was that) I think I should not be on the road. I knew when it happened the first time I was having a hard time controlling the car and I'm afraid if that comes on again it can be very dangerous. Hubby is once again irritated with me. We got in a little squabble over it. I left so as not to keep escalating the argument. When I got back he had called another friend to take him but he seems angry about it. If hubby had no other alternative I would suck it up and take him but he does have an alternative. He could let the military reimburse him for the cab. He gets this money whether he takes a cab or not. The money is given to him for transportation but he wants me to do it. I am going to get this fear of mine checked out. I may have some anxiety issues going on so its not like i'm not going to work on this problem I have I just don't feel like its a good idea for me to be on the big roads untill I do that. Am I wrong to not take him?? Is he being inconsiderate??

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:56 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Dont be too hard on yourself, I refuse to exit on to a interstate ramp, it petrifies me. I hate 18 wheelers..they freak me out lol I think hes being someone inconsiderate to you, i mean if your trying to tell him it would be dangerous for you to take him, you would think he's understand, but i also see out it would be an inconvience for him. But in the end if you dont trust yourself to be confident, dont do it =-)

    Answer by AydensMommy1109 at 5:02 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • So, you are dealing with some anxiety, and your husband doesn't understand . . . . I don't think either of you is to blame. make an appointment with a therapist who specializies in anxiety or Panic Didorder. When your husband gets home, sit him down. Tell him that you love him, that you are having a problem, but you have an appointment to work on it, and you need his support, so the both of you can get past this problem.

    Try to "externalize" it out of your marriage. It is the "anxiety" that is the problem. Not you or him.

    The good thing is that it is very easily treatable through counseling. It might take a little time, but you will learn how to lessen it's grips on you.

    Good luck.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:26 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • You have every right to be terrified. BUT if you don't face this and work on reducing the fear it will turn into a phobia, if it hasn't already.

    I was about 20 and in the Army stationed in Germany. I took one of my unit's normal looking cars to drive myself and a friend to some training in the next town over. As I was getting on the autobahn at speed, a semi truck changed lanes into me and about flattened my station wagon. The side mirror was hanging by its cables, my driver's side door would only open about 2 inches, and I was absolutely terrified. Even my friend, riding in the passenger seat was scared. I was nothing but a speed bump to that big rig.

    That was 10 years ago. I'm STILL uncomfortable with semi's on my left. After I got driven over a different friend MADE me drive whenever we went anywhere. I so DID NOT want to be anywhere close to behind a wheel, but he insisted.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 5:31 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Thanks to him I can drive now. It's not always comfortable, and I have my white knuckle moments, but I CAN do it.

    You can too, with time, practice and some friends that love you enough to say you WILL do this.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 5:33 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • well it sure sounds like anxiety to me i have it also and a ol man who doesnt get it and hes a prick about it but i think to help you ,you could find a sitter and nother adult to ride with you incase it gets to bad but force yourself through it and see nothing will happen that should help gl with it its not easy i know and i get anxiety pills but they put me to sleep though so i cant take unless at home

    Answer by flipper4u21 at 7:17 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Thanks everyone. This sure helps. :o)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:34 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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