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Guilty for having an only child

I have a 2 1/2 year old and I always told myself that we would try to have another child whenever she turned two. Well the shit hit the fan around October. My husband lost his job and we ended up having to move in with my MIL. All of my friends are on their second and third child and I feel intense jealousy. My daughter doesn't have someone to play with. She's never around kids her age. I feel like she's lonely and if we don't have another child she will resent me in the future. I don't know how to deal with this guilt. Please help.

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Asked by Eisleysmommy27 at 5:18 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,971 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I was an only child and so was my hubby. We both were spoiled and over indulged hardcore but every Xmas would beg Santa for a sibling instead of piles of toys. We made sure to have a 2nd child as quickly as possible in spite of medical and financial difficulties. We're glad we did and it turned out nicely for us.

    HOWEVER a large percentage of only kids are thrilled and love it, having their parents to themselves

    it ultimately is YOUR choice..... it could go either way for daughter. show her love, find a playgroup or preschool..... good luck! it's a terribly intense and tough parenting dilemma indeed

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:26 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I am an only child and I don't resent my parents at all.  I had a great childhood.


    Answer by beeky at 5:28 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • First things first, your feelings ARE valid. Just remember that life has a way of working itself out. Your daughter won't resent you, she'll appreciate you for spending more QT with her alone. When baby comes along, jealousy, spite, and arguments always follow. Mine are 2 and 5mo. Some days I feel like I should have waited, that I let DS down. There's always something for everyone, honey. Just be patient, with the situation, adding a baby will only exacerbate your situation. Trust me, when you're living with a parent (especially an inlaw), having a new baby causes new strain on ALL parties. I was 7mo pregnant with DS when DH was laid off and we had no where else to go... it wasn't pretty, and we ended up not talking to his parents for 10mo afterward.

    The older she gets, the more she will get to "baby" the baby. When she's 2-3, she'll poke, pinch, all that, but between 3-4, she'll want to hold the bottle... GL sister.

    Answer by matobe at 5:29 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • I was/am an only child of a single working father. I was ALWAYS home alone from after school (2:30ish) until dinner (6ish) or later from age 10 until I moved out of the house. I was lonely growing up, and would ALWAYS beg my dad for more siblings or to foster/adopt more kids. HE doesn't remember be begging for more kids in the house, but then again there's a lot that happened in my childhood that he doesn't remember.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:02 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

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