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Do i tell my bi-best friend i am in love with him?

So i have a friend that is not sure of his sexuality. He is in his 25 years old, he has never kissed anyonel, never had a GF, he has no experience with ANYTHING. He has a tough childhood, his father was an alcoholic, he was molested when he was kid, he was bullied and his mom is a fanatic religious person. So, she is very close minded about people being gay, bi, sex-before marriage and all that stuff. Therefore, she doesn't know what is wrong with his son. i know this guy friend since we were in HS together, he currently lives out of state (going to school). I've always seen him as a friend, until before he left to school, we started to do everything together, we would see each other everyday, talked to each other everyday. we opened up to each other. We became best friends. We even spend thxgiving and xmas together, just like a couple. He tells me he loves me very often. But he is not sure of his sexuality. He says he is attracted to guys, but also with girls. Can this be because he doesn't have any experience? The point is that i am in love with him. He tells me he doesn't want to be gay or be attracted to men, but he has such a low self -esteem. He is very good looking guy an a lot of girls like him (makes me jealous) but, he won't date them, or pursue anything cause he is scared of hurting them, and he won't open up to them. I was the 1st one to really know about his attraction. I've accepted him and i am trying to help him. However, he is so confused right now, i am scared to tell him that i accept him and that i love him. And that him being attracted to guys is not an issue for me. But i am scared to confuse him even more, as he won't take it in very well. I hate seeing him get hurt and me not being able to help him. But i love him so much all i want is to be with him, i want to be his 1st kiss. should i tell him? should i continue being his friend? I don't know what to do...i need help!

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ms.grumppy

Asked by ms.grumppy at 5:19 PM on Apr. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (138 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Wow...this is a tough situation. First of all I want to commend you for being there for him through all of this. Alot of people wouldn't stick around for a friend or even a family member who was having trouble with such an issue. That shows alot about who you are as a person. Secondly, I understand your concern of further confusing him. You could either just come out and say it or you could kinda beat around the bush with it and see where the conversation leads. I tried picturing myself in this situation and being the kind of person that I am I think my conversation would go something like "I know you are going thru alot right now and I don't want to make things any harder on you than they already are. But I am your friend and I feel like I should tell you how i really feel about you..." I don't know that I was any help at all, girl, but I wish you and your friend the best! You seem really sweet!
    MyLilClaireBear

    Answer by MyLilClaireBear at 6:13 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • thats adorable. but difficult...i dont think i would say anything quite yet because when my good friend told me he was in love with me, it pushed me away and our friendship has been distorted ever since. figure out which way you think he's leaning towards and the two of you should talk and make arrangements to have something done about it. this is a very confusing situation. if he decides he like girls, you'll be hurt and if he decides he like guys you will still feel hurt so either way you will loose while all you're wanting to do is help him! well, im bi and it was not confusing for me since i knew i always wanted to have a boyfriend but that i find girls attractive and like to pursue them, but not as a girlfriend. maybe instead of waiting for him to figure out his sexuality you could just accept the fact and KNOW that he's bi. maybe u two should get close, do u think he gets that fuzzy feeling? check his body language
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 7:54 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • im really sorry i dont know the best answer this is a tough question, but it wouldn't hurt to wait it out i dont think.
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 7:57 PM on Apr. 18, 2011

  • Hi girls, thank you so much for the advice. it does help a lot. I just find it so difficult when he tells me that "no one will accept me", or "he just wants love" or "he feels lonely" I tell him that i am here for him and i love him. But, he doesn't see that i really do love him as more than friends. For now, i think i am just going to try to be there, help him sort his sexuality and be his friend. I guess time will tell. Is just hard. :(
    ms.grumppy

    Comment by ms.grumppy (original poster) at 2:48 PM on Apr. 19, 2011

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